Posted by tterees on May 11, 2004, at 0:19:59
Hi. I am new here and originally posted this in the "newbies" area. Fallen4myT suggested I might want to re-post it here.
How long is too long to stay in therapy? I have been seeing the same therapist for 10 years, and I can't stand the thought of stopping, but I don't know if I am getting anything out of it. I know I am lonely. I know I like the 45 minutes of having someone focused on me. I don't think I ever thought about hurting myself before therapy, but now I think about it at least once a week. And I am afraid that if I tell my therapist, he will say it is time for us to stop.
Fallen4myT asked if I was thinking of hurting myself over the thought of ending therapy. No. I am afraid that if I tell him I am thinking of hurting myself he will suggest that I try someone else, because my sessions with him are not helping. And I don't want to stop seeing him.
I really like my T, and I have this false sense of dependency on him. I say "false", because I do recognize (brain) that he is my doctor and not my father, brother, lover, or anything else. I think the only time I felt or experienced this thing called transference was about 8 years ago. My father and I had never gotten along. And I had gone home for a visit, and my dad said something that really hurt me (he did not mean to, I don't think he even realized that he had.) Anyhow when I came back and told my T what had happened, I said "You know I just always wanted to be special to him." And then I said "And I want to be special to you too." My T replied "You are." I felt better and that was it.
I am more curious about transference out of the therapist's office. I try to re-live my childhood (relationship with my dad) outside. And I have forever. If I had a male teacher in high school or college. And if I have a male boss -- forget it. Always looking to resolve something that can/could only be resolved with my father. Oh well. Thanks for listening.
poster:tterees
thread:345612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/345612.html