Posted by lonelygirl on May 10, 2004, at 16:29:59
In reply to Re: The stigma and loneliness of mental illness...., posted by sjb on May 10, 2004, at 8:58:56
I am very secretive about both meds and therapy... The only people who should know about the meds are my pdoc and my parents. My prescription plan is even mail-order, so I don't even have to go to the drug store for it! I live alone, so I never have to deal with anyone seeing me take my meds.
As for the therapy, I don't tell anyone -- even my parents. I guess it's not as hard for me as for many of you, since I live alone and don't have any friends or a significant other; I pretty much come and go as I please and nobody knows or cares where I’m going.
I am also terribly embarrassed about therapy. The only reason I went in the first place was that I was forced to. I would never have been able to do it if I hadn’t been forced. After I was done with the required number of sessions, I decided to continue on my own, and I just feel guilty and embarrassed about having to admit that I actually want to go. I feel like I have to justify going. That's part of the reason I don't plan to go any more once I graduate and can't see my current psychologist any more. It was ok when I was forced to go (and I sort of justify it to myself that way, even though it’s my choice now), but I am too embarrassed to initiate it on my own.
I can't completely put my finger on the reasons why I am so embarrassed about it. Part of it is that, yeah, it kind of seems like a "yuppie" thing. Another part is the stigma of admitting I have problems. Another part is that I have always considered myself rather independent. I do things by myself. I am supposed to be strong, to deal with things on my own. I feel like I'm not supposed to need anybody's help with anything, and if I do, it feels like a huge failure on my part. Yeah, I know, I know, they say getting help is a sign of strength, but that’s not how it feels to me.
All of this, of course, is what is so nice about Babble… I can be open about this stuff and not embarrassed about it… So, well, thanks everyone, for being here.
poster:lonelygirl
thread:345273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/345483.html