Posted by karen_kay on May 10, 2004, at 12:00:29
In reply to The stigma and loneliness of mental illness...., posted by KindGirl on May 10, 2004, at 1:19:37
strange..... i read through most of the responses and none are similar to my experience. that makes me wonder about my own perception of mental illness, therapy, meds and all of those things.
so, about loneliness during recovery..... no, i don't normally feel that, at least not associated with my own personal experience with mental illness and therapy.
i've always been able to be honest with my family, he!! they're 'crazier' than i am, even if they don't have a dx to back it up. i'm very lucky to have such a wonderful family and truly amazing friends that know me very well and make me feel like i can talk if i need to. so, i don't feel lonely much of the time, at least when i'm not depressed. and even then i don't feel lonely as much as i question, 'why does this have to happen at all.'
i know the limitations that i have with my therapist, my family and my friends. that helps me to accept precisely how much support i can count on from each individual person. but, when one falls short, i know i can always talk to another to receive the support or distraction or laughter that i need to get through. so i don't feel lonely all that often really. i have a few very close friends and a lot of really amazing family members who help me get through when i need it.
about the stigma....yes, i know there is one. i see it all the time on television, here it when people talk, and read about it in the newspaper. i can't say i like hearing it, but it doesn't really get me upset either.
when i'm with my casual friends and they say something like, 'oh, he's bipolar i'd swear. he's moody, ect.' i laugh along too, even though after i laugh i think, 'hey wait! i'm bipolar. am i moody? shouldn't i correct her and tell her the facts, ect.' and when i went to see my mother yesterday, i was invited to another wedding because, 'oh, you just have to go to make it fun. i've heard you're the crazy person who makes evenings entertaining.' i simply said, 'certifiably, and i'd love to attend your wedding. just be careful what you ask for dear.
but, there's also a good side to it as well. a soon to be relative of mine is depressed. and because my sister has a big mouth, this relative talked to me about it. something she couldn't do with her family, since they really haven't been through it and they sort of tell her to snap out of it, or work longer hours. they jsut don't understand and i guess she feels i do.
so yes, i can almost feel the stigma around me at times, especially when i hear about someone who committed a crime but they are mentally ill and somehow people seem to think they go hand in hand. as if everyone who has a mental illness committs a crime, like it's expected. but it doesn't outrage me like it used to. and i understand that people always need a reason when things happen, you know? as if saying, 'she's mentally ill' helps explain things in their minds.
i don't like the stigma and that's one thing i'd like to change a bit 'when i grow up.' i know i've been able to change that misconception in my family's mind and also for my friends. but there are also people who don't know and i'd rather die than tell them. my old man's family for example. and if i have to take medication, i hide to do so. or once his mother saw me taking meds and i jsut said it was an antibiotic, which led to a steam of lies about some sort of flu i'd had. but, i just think telling them would make them more uncomfortable than would be beneficial, as they don't have an type of experience with mental illness in the family and i wouldn't want to be the first! i'm honest to most people if i think it's beneficial (or if i'm manic and jsut won't shut up! that's never fun when you talk too much about things you shouldn't to strangers). and almost everyone knows about therapy, again expect for my boyfriend's parents. i woudn't mind if they knew but i've been in therapy for a while and don;t want them to think something's very wrong with me, even though there's not. but i also think of it this way, i don't know what medications they take and wouldn't dream of asking, so no one should know about mine either unless i decide to tell them.
and i feel that telling everyone may make them a bit too aware of what i'm doing and what i'm taking and if they hear stories they may wonder about me, even if they've known me for quite a while. but, i'd rather people not think i'm moody or hyper because i'm bipolar. that's just me and i think i'd be very much the same without a disorder. it only hightens my personality and characteristics at times.
poster:karen_kay
thread:345273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/345378.html