Posted by Dinah on April 30, 2004, at 18:33:26
In reply to Levels of intimacy and confusion, posted by shadows721 on April 30, 2004, at 18:11:18
As far as sex and falling in love goes, I agree with you, for what it's worth. Not only are the rules prohibitive, but the statistics are even bleaker. Therapist marriages to former patients last on average two and a half years, even if they do marry them. There are too may dynamics invloved to make for happily ever after. Resentment at career problems, the whole rescuer/damsel in distress thing, the fact that it's hard to step out of therapist/client mode, any host of problems that well nigh doom such a relationship. Not to mention character traits of therapists likely to thumb their nose at the rules. They aren't odds that I'd like to play.
But I for one need some level of illusion that my therapist has a caring professional relationship with me. Yeah, we're not friends. I don't hear about his problems. But I hope he feels some caring and closeness to me. Some genuine liking that doesn't come from my checkbook. It's hard enough to believe that they aren't emotional whores who care only as long as we leave a check on the desk on our way out. It needs to be more than that. If it isn't, I don't think I can go on.
I'm already having a hard time believing that there's any genuine caring. Please don't rob me of my remaining illusions. The consequences are too dire.
And no, I'm not in love with him. But I've seen him once or twice a week for nine years. I care about him, if only from length of association. He's seen more of the real me than anyone in the world. If he didn't care at all about me, I'd have to assume I wasn't really worth caring about much. Not sure I can handle that.
poster:Dinah
thread:336073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040426/msgs/341940.html