Posted by crushedout on April 23, 2004, at 10:26:31
In reply to Re: I told Ellen about the consultation today, posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 23, 2004, at 9:59:34
Yes, you're right Miss Honey. I started SI'ing a couple months ago when Ellen and I began the current crisis we're in. I feel like what set it off was that my mother and I had a terrible fight and I called Ellen on a Saturday and she didn't call me back. And the next week she told me she had been mad at me for needing her. And told me a bunch of stuff about her own mother and was basically unable to give me what I needed.We've been in a sort of mess ever since. But the question I keep asking myself is whether there's a benefit to sorting out this mess? You're right that I SI as a way of expressing my distress about the relationship, but I'm just not sure that means I should abandon the relationship. I'm not sure I can, either. I'm very tenacious, especially when I'm in love.
Ultimately, I could learn something important from sticking around and working it out with Ellen. Or, I may just waste a lot of time and energy. I just don't know how to decide. And right now I feel like she's taken away my option of consulting with this other therapist, and I needed that option.
> Crushed,
>
> From what I can tell, you started SIing for the very first time since you have been seeing Ellen? I know this is a recent development and I can't remember you saying you have ever done this before.
>
> To me, just the fact that you are doing this awful thing to your body is an indicator that your relationship with Ellen is not good for you. Am I being unreasonable here? I feel like your mind and body have been sending you unconscious signals for months now that perhaps this relationship is not in your best interest.
poster:crushedout
thread:338881
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339129.html