Posted by Miller on December 17, 2002, at 8:59:59
In reply to miller, posted by justyourlaugh on December 17, 2002, at 8:30:16
Hi Jyl,
Thank you for your kind words. I understand completely the regrets you are having.
As far as giving the relevant information to your pdoc, I have received many suggestions on how to tell him things. All of them have helped. I am not good at face to face meetings. Here are some of the things I have done to give him the information he needs to help me.
* I have written events and concerns. Since I have a habit of over-editing, I fax the information to him prior to my session.
* I have called him and asked him to let the answering machine pick up so I can leave what I need to say on the machine.
* I have even turned my chair so my back faces him until I say what I need to. Thus, preventing an eye to eye contact which would be too uncomfortable for me.
* And finally, I have told him when he is wrong. For example, he was telling me how I need to start seeing small events as a win-win situation regardless of the outcome. After the (seemingly) 20 minute lecture he says "I bet every bone in your body is screaming that you don't deserve to win". I said "No, every bone in my body is asking HOW am I supposed to do that after 35 years of thinking differently!"
SO, please feel free to try any of these suggestions. I was once given some very good advise from a psychologist in San Fransisco. He said that although I may be disappointed and hurt because my shrink will "miss the point" I have to honestly look to see if I GAVE him the point. He can't help me if I don't give him everything he needs to know. He is right. Without telling your pdoc all there is, he/she can not be expected to KNOW where you are emotionally.
If your next appointment is so far away, try writing. Maybe take sections. I tend to work backwards. I start with now and work my way back. You could start by writing about the event with the other woman.
Please let me know if any of this information is useful. I wish you well.
-Miller
poster:Miller
thread:1790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1862.html