Posted by Phil on December 15, 2002, at 13:33:30
In reply to Re: How can you be so sure? » Phil , posted by Dinah on December 15, 2002, at 12:20:47
I'm so sure because I'm on this board and I want others to at least hear that no matter the shame, pain, hurt you feel, that dying over it isn't the answer. I know this is a complex issue but the toughest issues in life require some hutzpah. You have to say to yourself-The only rule of the game of life is you can't quit. If I know I won't quit, it gives me freedom to concentrate on fixing my problem.
I know there are some very good reasons to die and the emotional pain of just daily living for me is,a lot of times, almost unbearable. I get so frustrated that most people pretty much breeze through life with an effortlessness that it really make's me want to crawl in a hole. I'm always worried. They are doing great, having fun. I go home to my cat.
Some kind of power/force, whatever, created all we see. Life isn't about God, the devil, whatever. It's more about light and absense of light. So, when I'm in absolute darkness(Carlsbad Caverns..haha), I choose to get down on my knees and say, one more time, "I don't know what or who you are but I need to feel better and I don't think I can do it by myself. Really, I don't want to live, everything hurts, everything HURTS! I give up all ego and all my pride if you can show me some daylight cause I kinda really don't want to die." Within a couple of days, I have always gotten better. God didn't make me better-my willingness to humbly ask for help, I think, is how this power works.
When you send up a prayer like, If you don't help me now I'm fucked. And that's all you can say, but it's sincere and true, you will change.
A therapist told me once that ego was a whatchamacallit that stood for easing god out.
If you're suicidal, you may have a chemical imbalance but you have to develop the will to say-I can't, you can, I'm gonna let you.
poster:Phil
thread:1790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1839.html