Posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 9, 2002, at 10:15:12
In reply to Emotional divorce, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2002, at 19:07:10
> Has anyone else experienced this, and found a way to stop the process? I recognize that it is a self protective measure, but I don't know how to interrupt it.
-------------------------Once again, I understand completely. Almost like was mentioned previously, I really do feel like a robot sometimes. I don't feel the types of enjoyment or attachment I should to members of my family. I don't have a strong desire to make or maintain friends. I'm just here.
It occured to me last night that I spend almost all my time thinking about myself... my thoughts on things, my past and future, my potential feelings, and I'm pretty much on autopilot when it comes to how I operate in any environment. I don't observe the world around me, listen to people with interest, or appreciate my sensory world at any given point. It's as if I reached some stage many years ago of living in my immediate surroundings and then switched over to ruminating about myself. In doing so, I'm pretty much living in the past, because I don't give full attention and appreciation to the things that happen to me nowadays. I'm elsewhere. I don't know if the self-ruminating is a symptom of a problem or the problem itself, though. Can I regain feelings and drive by forcing myself to be more immediate and sensory? How would I even do that? This whole response is even an example of what I'm talking about. Still, it's worth a shot, I guess.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:1736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1768.html