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Re: Assumptions are presumptuous

Posted by violette on December 26, 2010, at 8:19:30

In reply to Re: Assumptions are presumptuous, posted by violette on December 22, 2010, at 22:16:09

When i see this a pattern:

I say/do ___ insert socially acceptable behavior)

I don't say/do ___insert socially unacceptable behavior)

but instead see someone say/do the opposite, it reminds me of my mother, who has narcissistic personality disorder. One of the major signs of NPD, is someone who regularly lies to themself (which ultimately transfers to lying to others) but is unaware of it.

Denial is common to other mental disorders as well, but i think of how my mother used it around other people, ie to convince the neighbors, family,...of her 'goodness' (which is the opposite of how she feels about herself deep down inside) but especially when pointing out the behavior in others while denying it as her own, is common to NPD.

(BTW-the diagnosis of NPD is being dropped from DSM, and i'm not sure what the object relational patterns or behavioral traits of someone who has NPD will be associated with. I think psychologists will still use the context of the dx NPD in practice, but for research purpsoes, i wonder how its going to work)

I think because im hypervigilant, i sense patterns like that before i realize it cognitivity..so i get emotionally triggered before the facts arise in my consciousness, regardless of whether or not someone is actually like my mother. When you don't fully know people, as with this setting, its true you cant make assumptions.

IMO-anyone's true character is really marked by what they do/feel/act when no one is around, so there's no way for me or anyone else to know a person except for what that person chooses to reveal to others....but

I think for me, the issue is, at a mental health forum, it's odd in my experience to interact with people who say they have nothing wrong with them or that they have little faults-whether it's done directly or by ommission, implying, or pointing out others' faults--especially when shortcomings are pointed out in others. So i get emotionally triggered more here than in real life...this is at least the second time its happened here for me...so i think i will just go back to avoiding-go run and hide from places like this-as i have enough emotional stuff to deal with already.

 

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