Posted by Dr. Bob on July 4, 2010, at 16:34:28
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by violette on July 4, 2010, at 14:05:14
> There are a lot of triggers here for me--due to how it is managed and other things I already mentioned throughout different posts. It doesn't work well with my childhood abuse history.
>
> unfortunately, I am triggered by CBT therapy and it reminded me too much of that. A T I saw for 2 years tried to address my symptoms in similar ways-but it led to major panic attacks.
>
> it just occurred to me I'm progressing to a state of full blown PTSD> This is a good example of an unsafe environment-someone's repeated passive agressive behavior has led others to feel hurt ... but since no one ever came to sanction her, the person who pointed out the harmfulness (me) gets sanctioned, while the one upsetting others does not and is permitted to continue posting in a manner which is hurtful to others
Please don't refer to others as passive-aggressive or upsetting or hurtful. That could lead them to feel upset or hurt.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express yourself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceI don't sanction people because others feel hurt, I sanction people because I consider them to have been uncivil. Others can feel hurt even if someone's been civil.
This focus on your behavior may remind you of CBT as well as of your family. If being sanctioned feels like being abused, this may in fact be an unsafe environment for you. OTOH, if you're willing to accept some anxiety, this could also be an environment in which to learn to be less easily triggered.
Bob
"a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind" -- The New York Times
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:953266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/953283.html