Posted by tom2228 on April 5, 2014, at 20:51:33
In reply to Relationship meds for PTSD/Borderline?, posted by porkpiehat on April 5, 2014, at 16:19:47
> I have this relationship-killing tendency to fixate and obsess over my rapport with the boyfriend to the point that I'm always reading his mind, sure that he is indifferent, and literally cannot sleep next to him without having these (above) racing thoughts and a general feeling of being unsafe.
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> I refuse to let another relationship die because of this frame of mind. A little seroquel or Latuda at night tends to help this and realize it's all in my head, however, it tends to sap my interest in the relationship itself and become desensitized. Can't decide which is worse!
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> SSRI's at higher doses make me even more callous and hypomanic and even mean. Therapy?? after 20 years it has barely scratched these ruminations.
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> Has anyone with this issue had success with any particular med? I'm at the point of changing my meds every few days and, what if the guy is just a jerk, lol??
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>Ah, it's relieving to find my feelings replicated somewhere else --not to make light of your situation -- but I identify. It's hard to get an "empirical" sense for the state of the relationship when your own perceptions, thoughts, and emotions are at war with each other.
Latuda also helped me calm things down so I could enjoy the moment and make something new out of it rather than analyze things. Antipsychotics in general help me with this.
Lamictal has probably helped the most but the difficult, but not necessarily problematic aspects for me is that emotional rationality has taken over and the emotional intensity that drove my drive to relate to this person has transferred from the forefront of my cognition to the background. I have since realized many reasons why it is ideal for me to be at a distance from him for my own emotional health, and I believe the Lamictal is helping me understand this. Although I do question whether the Lamictal is dampening an emotional drive whose absence has left a depression in its wake that might be helped by seeing this person, who is pretty much my only friend.
I myself consider these issues, in my case, borderline issues -- issues relating to myself, my emotions, what constitutes me vs. my emotions, how to get past that and relate to someone without taking on their emotions and losing myself, etc. I take other meds that have also helped with this, including lithium, Marplan, Abilify, and Desoxyn.
All give me a better sense of who I am and what I stand for and the realization that that's not going to change by the minute or how hard I think about it. That realization helps to keep the relationship ruminations at bay because I trust my feelings more.
My relationship ruminations these days focus on whether I am being too uptight and healthy by staying away from him or whether it would help my depression to see this person whom I miss so much. This person is an addict who has been active and I am ~1 year clean, which may help understand the situation. It also gives valid reason to be ruminating, as the relationship involves a serious health issue, i.e., there's often more to it than just "thinking too much."
Hope this helped; your post definitely helped me understand the relationship between my meds and my emotional management in relationships.
poster:tom2228
thread:1063712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140328/msgs/1063727.html