Posted by Vincent_QC on March 3, 2010, at 15:46:43
Hi Everyone,
I developp a fear about meds, after severals trials of meds who was disastrous. One of those meds was the Parnate, who almost kill me because of hypertensives crisis without any food restricted reason.Since that bad experience, i'm sensitive to meds, so sensitive than I can't start using them, and if I succeed to start one, I have all the side-effects, even the rare ones and feel worse than before starting the med...so I usually stop them after one or two doses in a complete fear state.
Recently, i'm more and more prone to meds phobia... I can't even take a single tylenol pill or an Advil to treat my head pain or migraine.
The same apply to the Rivotril, since a while, when I take 1 mg of it, I feel worse after... and if I don't take it, I have withdraw symptoms who start and increase my anxiety... so I feel stuck in a hole...
I have a panic disorder with agoraphobia, general anxiety, social phobia and others little phobias like driving my car ( who trigger panic), heart disease phobia (always take my pulse rate and blood pressure). All of those disorders make me prone to a list of constant side-effects that I live every day of my life.
I don't work for now and don't have to go out of the house at daytime, so normally I feel better at daytime. Things get worse when it's time to get out of the house, especially when I have to go to a public place and drive my car to go there... Driving is now really hard for me... With all the symptoms I have, i'm a lot distracted and fewer reflexs.
My list of constant symptoms are mostly related to a higher level of adrenaline and beta blocker don't work on me, anyway those symptoms are : strong head pain, in the left side of the head near the temple, migraine, eyes pain, numbless of the chest + legs + arms + face + teeth + jaw pain, chest pain + back pain, dizziness, faint or syncope (only last 10 -15 seconds) and not often, sensitivity to the lights and loud sounds, tickling at the extremities and the chest (trigger panic attacks, especially when I drive or when i'm socially exposed), tunel vision, visuals hallucinations, dilated eyes pupils, fast or slow pulse rate, sweating from hands and feets, depersonalization + derealization, constant fatigue as well as heart burns and intestine pain.
Those symptoms seem to get worse each week or each time I experience them. They seem to happen in a downward spiral cycle. I mean that if I experience more dizziness and depersonalization during a specific day, those symptoms will last for 1 week constantly and more severely. If it's the head pain, I will focus on the head pain for 1 week and feel really bad. I will continue to have the others symptoms at the same times and then I will experience more chest pain or tickling effects and I will focus on those symptoms for another week... Each time a new or old symptoms appear, they are worse than before and I focus on them more and more.
I'm like that since last november... So I feel terrible bad since more than 4 months now... I'm so tired... and I stay home more and more often and drive less often also... My main problem, who was only social phobia to begin, is now turning to a nightmare and I feel that I loose all the control over my life... and I fear to not return to a normal state now...
I meet my PDoc this week, PDoc don't seem to care about me and the med phobia...calling me med sensitive...and talk about adrenaline and gaba receptors who are saturated and the fact that I need to take a SSRI, even if I have a fear about med and side-effects... And they don't take impatient to start med... just if you have suicidal tendencies or being dangerous for the others...and it's not my case...
He put me on Remeron, to help to cope with the insmonia and gastric problems, and baby dose of liquid prozac (4 mg by 1 ml).
Last Monday night, I started the Remeron, 15mg at bedtime and I was feeling quite sedated yesterday but I was ok, until I get out of the house and had to drive the car. I start having panic attack and a strong head pain while I was driving the car and all the night I was thinking that I will do a stroke, but it's impossible since I had a MRI test done 1 month ago and they see nothing wrong inside my head. So last night I didn't take my Remeron...
I know that my fears are irrationnal, and I know that most of the side-effects are not real, and I do severals therapies and know some tricks to help to prevent panic or decrease them, but it's not working on me anymore...
I plan to re-start again the Remeron tonight, but only at 7,5mg, for one week and .see later if I increase it or wait another week.
For the liquid prozac, I plan to wait until I will be used to the Remeron. Maybe with the Remeron alone, I will feel better and my anxiety will decrease when I will reach the good dosage for me?
Is it normal to developp a medication phobia and to became meds sensitive, especially after severals trials of meds who fail ?
Someone have any good advise to give to me? Any tricks to make it more easy for me to take my meds and stop having imaginatives side-effects???
I always start the antidepressants meds at normal dose, sometimes high dose, without any increase of anxiety at first. It was usual for me to start the Paxil at 20mg or 30 mg, the Lexapro at 10 or 20mg, the Zoloft at 50mg, the Prozac at 10mg, the Remeron at 30mg, the Nardil at 45mg, the Parnate at 40mg... Same for the effexor-xo that I start often at 75mg and go up to more than 350 mg day...
I'm the only one here to have medication phobia???
If not, I need some help please!
Thanks everyone!
poster:Vincent_QC
thread:938472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100216/msgs/938472.html