Posted by Myrk on July 27, 2006, at 10:39:25
In reply to Re: Effexor - A personal experience (long read), posted by wacky on July 27, 2006, at 9:15:28
Thanks guys. After your responses, I feel much better - I'm no longer experiencing these things alone (ie, I'm not freakin crazy =P). It also means you stuck it out through that loooooong post I did =P Good job!
@linkage - You'd be suprised about how badly fight or flight kicked in for me when I was on Effexor. I remember having a disscussion with my brother the morning after we went to a bar. Apparently, there was almost a fight between him any someone else, and I wasn't aware (no, I had not been drinking =P). He went off on his "I'm in the Navy! I am armed with deadly knowledge!" bull (He's a good 40-50 lbs overweight, and works Damage Control; he's not a 'leathel weapon' by any means).
I simply agreed with him, and argued that it really didn't matter how much training someone had, or how toned / fit someone was. What mattered was a simple question - How far are you willing to go?" He gave me an odd look. Basically, I tried to sound bad by repeating one of my daydreams - I think I went overboard because even he didn't agree, thinking I was making a sick joke or something. Anyway, after that, I mulled over the idea in my head, and asked myself, given the situation, would I go that far? If not/so, then how far would I escalate a situation? It was hard for me to think on the idea.
The thing I don't get is that, sometimes, these weren't survival techniques or ways of prolonging my life. Some of them were just sadistic.
@stargazer - Thank you for sharing with me =) It makes me feel better that I am not alone. The infliction of pain or death upon myself if something I can handle. Been struggling with it for a while. I dunno why, but suddenly this was no longer focused on myself. Faceless human beings were the center of my day dreams and what scared me most was the day that I'd give them faces.
I'm extremely happy you got off that med when you did. I can't tell you how many people in the hospital told me how "fantastic" Effexor was - Which only encouraged me to go on. But bleh.
You live near the ocean? So jealous =P Gotta be pretty there!
@Nancy / wacky - 450mg? Jeeze. Did you progressively get that high? Or was that sorta the target? I thought 375 was high, which is why I demanded I go back down to 300 =P I will admit this about the Effexor, though, I stopped my SI after taking it (just giving another point of veiw - Hell I can see how someone would feel extreme guilt for thoughts like the ones I had). I was SI'ing about once a week or sooner beforehand, and after it I had no real will too. I have SI'd once, cutting on my back, since I discontinued the use, but I'm not too worried about it, as I'm somewhat "tapering off" =P
As for my experiences, I actually talked to a friend that I fell out of contact with for a long time. She has been bipolar for roughly 20-25 years, and had plenty of meds. I told her a good portion of my story, and then she asked "Have you ever heard of (and I dunno if I'm using her termonology here) counter-effects in drugs? Basically, it's where the drug is /supposed/ to work one way, but since every person is different, it actually works in the complete opposite way."
"No..." I responded, ".. But go on =P"
"You could have had a counter-effect towards the Effexor. Know what the counter-effect to rohypnol is? It makes a person delusionally psychotic (again, she used proper medical terminology that I don't know =P). Basically, any frat guy that slips a ruffie in a victem that is susceptable to the counter-effect is going to have a rough night."
I kinda chuckled at that, but took it with a grain of salt. If it /is/ actually helping people, then I want them to get better. HOWEVER, I do NOT want a doctor to push a pill that has widely varied effects, such as this.
No comment on Marijuana :D I don't use it, but I have plenty of friends that do. And they get funnier/less stressful when they are on it =P
PS: pdoc? I've seen this term a bit and don't fully understand it. Pill doc? If you mean your psyciatrist (grumbles), then I gotcha ;) Still hate how short my sessions are with them. Love my pdoc (the 2nd, not 1st), as she seems to know her stuff, but she is always got this sorta... Angry/professional look on her face when she walks in. I talk to her for 10 mins, and she FINALLY lets her guard down and talks to me as a human being, rather than a doctor. Then she can explain a bit more of what's going on CHEMICALALLY in my head (which is really all I want - I'll go to a psycologist or theoripist if I got other issues).
@silvercoinage - Hehe ;) I'm still a novice at understanding stuff. It's gonna take me a while to decode what you said =P
-Myrk (<3's his new board!)
PS: Just looked over my post - Can you tell my Addorall hit it's peak? =P
poster:Myrk
thread:670781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060724/msgs/671063.html