Posted by Myrk on July 26, 2006, at 14:25:37
I kinda stumbled on this page when searching for another page about Effexor. I was very interested in how it functioned and if others experienced the same "side-effects" as myself. While browsing, I saw a buncha questions here, so I decided to share my experiences ;) Before I continue, however, there are a couple things I gotta clear up. First, this is a /personal/ experience. Meaning, this crap might not (and probably won't) happen to you. It took me a while to decide to write this - the ethics of the situation made me stop to consider that simply suggesting side-effects might make them come true for some taking the medication. The best thing I can say actually came from a doc I visited - I had suicidal thoughts before I took Effexor. Therefore, it is safe to say that the medication did_not_put_anything into my head that wasn't already there.
Okay, brief history: Around Febuary, went to hospital for self-injury (cutting and burning self). Diagnosis, major depression + social anxiety disorder. Meds perscribed when I got out of hospital were Effexor (left hospital at 225mg, plan was to go to 300mg, but eventually got to 375mg) and Ambien (for any "vivid" dreams caused by the Effexor).
"Vivid dreams" was just another way of saying nightmares, but that crap I could handle. As long as I got fixxed, I would be happy. Didn't notice much in the hospital because I was adapting to the meds which came with the usual side-affects of (yay!) drowsiness. When I got out, though, I was adjusted to the Effexor and on about 225mg. It's hard to explain just how it affected me. It wasn't like "ohshi... I'M HAPPY NOW!". It was more like higher highs and lower lows.
I stepped up to 300 and eventually to 375 because of my Social Anxiety Disorder(SAD). Doc said the higher the dosage I can tolerate, the better it would be for me in the long run for my SAD. At this time, I started to notice wierd thoughts I'd have. Probably the best analogy that I came up with was this:
Let's say you're watching TV. You got the clicker in one hand, and your chips in the other. You flick through the channels, there is happy stuff, sad stuff, angry stuff, whatever on TV, and you can pretty much watch what you want to. But, of course, there are channels that are fuzzy, or the pictures bad. Usually, these are the "bad" channels, ones that aren't viewed as acceptable to society. Well, with Effexor on me, it was like the cable guy came and upgraded me with a HUGE antenna and much better cable box - But he took away the clicker. When I'm on a particularly violant channel, I can't get off of it. I have to explore it, and all of it's avenues. It comes in clearer, I can feel the pain or anger that it invokes. Same with a particularly happy one.
Okay, so out of analogy land, what does that mean in real life? I was having particularly violant daydreams. Ones that I would continue to explore and entertain, mentally, before moving on to the next "thought". And I'm talking sick...sh*t... (pardon my vocabulary, or lack of). I eventually had to start drawing what I would "see" on the higher dosages, simply because I didn't think people would believe all the horrible images that would rush into my head. It was like hell was sending infomercials for a timeshare directly to my brain.
I hit my doc with it, and he said that I simply "needed to stop thinking about it" and to "stop visiting those places in your mind". Yea, real easy thing to handle there, chief. While I do admit to self-injury, the stuff this Effexor was digging up was just... Wrong. To give you an idea of severity - (PLEASE jump to the next paragraph if you are squimish) Probably one of the more frequent images ***Removed for better judgement - I'm new to the boards, and don't know what flies around here. Don't wanna get kicked off my first day =P***
Anyway, after an episode that involved an overdose of Ambien, due to feelings of extreme guilt, we went to a new doctor. Something just wasn't working out with the Effexor, and loading up on a higher dosage was not the answer, even if the first doc swore by it. This is the important part of my story - If you're on Effexor, don't wait for the ____ to hit the fan - Communicate with your doc. "Dude, this is messing with my head. I feel higher highs and lower lows and if this continues, there's probably gonna be a trigger event that may cause me to do something I don't wanna do."
Second doc was apprehensive, and understandably so. I could have been hopping to a new doc, simply to get scrips filled with what I wanted, rather than needed. But after telling her more and more of my shizzle, she began to open up. She smirked as I mentioned my diagnosisof SAD+MD, and said simply, "No... No, that is too easy of an excuse.". She asked a couple qualifying questioned, and determined that something in my head (particularly, frontal lobe) had to be misfiring. I wasn't making proper long-term discisions and my previous Alcohol Abuse just didn't make any sense - It was more impulsive than anything else. She wanted to get me tested for AD/HD, and suprise! She pinned the tail on the donkey.
I read up a bit more on AD/HD in adults, and could see how that could happen to me. So we started to taper off the Effexor, and viola! The images have died down since then. I mean, I can still recall them, I can still construct an equally sadistic scene in my mind. The only difference is that it's not so sharp, you know? I won't /hear/ the screams or /feel/ whatever it was that the image was trying to convey (be it pain, guilt, anger, etc).
The second doc also said that it might have been a combo of my AD/HD reacting with the Effexor. The Effexor stimulated my brain, and the AD/HD simply took off running from there with stuff I've had my mind set on recently.
*sighs* Well, I started out posting this to warn people away from the drug, but really it just turned into me venting (which was really good for me, no one in my family likes to hear about the time I was on Effexor =P Too dark for them). Honestly, though, if I could give anyone advice that is currently taking this drug, it would be: COMMUNICATE with your doctor. I got myself into some trouble here because, while I was communicating the wierd thoughts, I wasn't communicating the severity. Even now, when I write this, I don't feel right talking about them because they are really morbid stuff.
Another thing I wanted to ask is to those whom have been or are currently on Effexor. Reactions to my experiences? I'd really like to hear, it's hard communicating with people like friends or family, cause most of them have never taken stuff like this before.
poster:Myrk
thread:670781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060724/msgs/670781.html