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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 25 to 49 of 99. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2009, at 21:24:47
In reply to Re: Phillipa, Deneb, and everyone » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on June 11, 2009, at 20:42:17
Dinah well I know they say I post too much or not enough and that I don't take the meds others suggest. But I think the hardiest of us stick around. And I've met some lovely people that no longer post but we regularly e-mail. Kind of like weeding. Love Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on June 11, 2009, at 22:57:03
In reply to Re: Okay, have your way, I will leave per·ma·nent·ly » Phillipa, posted by BabyToes on June 11, 2009, at 17:10:46
>Those Babble Parties are nothing but gossip festivals and they do talk about other babblers who are not there, in not so positive ways too, INCLUDING DR> BOB HIMSELF. I think this underground sh*t should be exposed because it isn't all on the boards.
No, it wasn't like that in Sydney. We would have been embarrassed to gossip and it wouldn't have felt right.
Posted by Sigismund on June 11, 2009, at 22:59:32
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » Sigismund, posted by Dinah on June 11, 2009, at 20:01:47
>Not all the good people who leave here leave because of Bob, or even the deputies. There are lots of ways to feel hurt, and lots of reasons to want to leave.
mmmm, yeah. You could be right.
I was thinking of Zeugma and the Politics board, and the way the civility rules were interpreted there.
Posted by SLS on June 12, 2009, at 5:50:14
In reply to why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by twinleaf on June 11, 2009, at 17:41:54
> I, and very likely others here. expected Bob to be roughly similar to therapists in our real lives whom we have chosen because they are warm, intelligent, well-trained, and able to help us live happier and more fulfilling lives. I think we are discovering, painfully, that Bob does not possess any of these qualities. He is an on-line conundrum- anonymous, unknown, cold, and at times dangerous to our well-being.
Even in the very beginning, Dr. Hysiung remained noticeably distant in his relationship with the members of the Psycho-Babble when the community was quite small. It seemed a bit strange at first, but then I realized that it was a smart thing for him to place some professional boundaries between himself and a group of needy and psychologically vulnerable people. To err on the side of having boundaries that are too high of too thick is preferable to having any kind of influence over someone's psyche.
I think this might be a good point of reference from which to understand the remainder of his behaviors, good and bad.
- Scott
Posted by Tabitha on June 12, 2009, at 11:27:00
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by SLS on June 12, 2009, at 5:50:14
I'm baffled when folks find it hurtful that Dr Bob doesn't behave like a warm and wonderful therapist. Why should he? He's not a therapist, and that's not his role here.
In life, people in authority or leadership aren't likely to be wise & warm therapist-like figures. Is your boss that way? Your accountant? Your family doctor? It's almost as odd to me as if someone reported they were emotionally damaged by the coldness of their stockbroker. If that happened, wouldn't it be time to look at your expectations and projections? So why such expectations of a research psychiatrist & website owner?
I wouldn't even want Dr Bob to be such a wonderful figure. Then this place would become "the Dr Bob Show" instead of a peer group support board.
Posted by SLS on June 12, 2009, at 13:46:38
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by Tabitha on June 12, 2009, at 11:27:00
> I'm baffled when folks find it hurtful that Dr Bob doesn't behave like a warm and wonderful therapist. Why should he? He's not a therapist, and that's not his role here.
>
> In life, people in authority or leadership aren't likely to be wise & warm therapist-like figures. Is your boss that way? Your accountant? Your family doctor? It's almost as odd to me as if someone reported they were emotionally damaged by the coldness of their stockbroker. If that happened, wouldn't it be time to look at your expectations and projections? So why such expectations of a research psychiatrist & website owner?Excellent points.
> I wouldn't even want Dr Bob to be such a wonderful figure. Then this place would become "the Dr Bob Show" instead of a peer group support board.For some, Dr. Bob would become a guru, and be quite capable of acting as a pied piper and perhaps lead his followers as lemmings over the precipice to their peril below.
This is a metaphor, of course, but not very far from the truth of what happens all around the world every day in days past and present. I saw such a thing for myself when I was working as an exercise instructor. You should have seen the adolescents and young adults follow his every move and hang on his every word. The guy just happened to be psychologist by profession.
- Scott
Posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 13:50:22
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by Sigismund on June 11, 2009, at 18:22:13
Sigismund, I guess I'm having a dense period because I am not clear about what you meant in ths following sentence.
"I don't really agree. I think it is because he has psychiatric training, which makes people over conscious of attempts to manipulate, with the results we have seen."
Did you mean that we, as posters, are overly conscious of his attempts to manipulate or the opposite?
Pat
Posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 15:03:21
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » Sigismund, posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 13:50:22
>"I don't really agree. I think it is because he has psychiatric training, which makes people over conscious of attempts to manipulate, with the results we have seen."
Did you mean that we, as posters, are overly conscious of his attempts to manipulate or the opposite?
No Pat, neither. I meant that psyciatric or more properly therapeutic training concentrates on the will. (All this comes from the wonderful Leslie Farber, an American analyst of the 60s.) He wrote books about willfulness and how therapy made it worse rather than better, citing the example of patient and therapist fighting a long battle over a pen. It's a side effect of therapy. I suppose the implication of this is that people with therapeutic training might be quite the worst people to run a support website. Maybe sheep farmers or cattle ranchers would be better.
Posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 15:14:35
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » fayeroe, posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 15:03:21
You got me at the cattle ranchers or sheep farmers! I died laughing.
Thanks for your explanation...my brain can get rusty when it as humid as it can be here in TX.
Since I am by nature a curious person, I'm going to google sheep farmer and cattle rancher mental health support websites......I'll get in touch of you via email if I find any...I'll use email so the information won't cause a mass exodus from Babble. :-)
Posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 15:53:42
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » fayeroe, posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 15:03:21
Here you go! I just couldn't put it in an email.....I have to share it here......
http://www.aghealth.org.au/blueprint/ (sheep farmers)
I'm afraid that I cannot find a website run by ranchers.
Posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 18:22:27
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » Sigismund, posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 15:53:42
Thanks Pat
I was never much of a farmer, but this does resonate with me....
>There is a growing body of evidence that the people in agriculture are not coping with the pressures that they face, and the mental illness that they experience. Farm male owners and managers commit suicide at around twice the rate of the national average.
Posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 18:57:36
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » fayeroe, posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 18:22:27
> Thanks Pat
>
> I was never much of a farmer, but this does resonate with me....
>
> >There is a growing body of evidence that the people in agriculture are not coping with the pressures that they face, and the mental illness that they experience. Farm male owners and managers commit suicide at around twice the rate of the national average.Years ago Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp and Bob Dylan and Neil Young started "Farm Aid" as a resouce and fund raiser for ranchers and farmers in the U.S.
They invite big name acts and have sold out every year that the concert has been held.
After they had been in "business" for about three years Willie told me that the suicide hotline had to be expanded because one line and one crisis manager couldn't keep up with the calls. They went in and established more lines and made it easier for the people to get through to a counselor. Unfortunately they aren't able to save all of the callers but it has been a great help to many people. The callers are overwhelmingly men.
I wish someone in the private sector would establish a crisis line for the soldiers that are committing suicide in record numbers.
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2009, at 19:13:25
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » Sigismund, posted by fayeroe on June 12, 2009, at 18:57:36
Pat in all seriousness my Son is working on that through traveling the USA via DAV. Helping get the soldiers the proper both medical and psychiatric help they need. Love Phillipa. He has a website through DAV. Greenville NC. I think not sure? In Washington DC a lot also.
Posted by verne on June 12, 2009, at 19:39:48
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » fayeroe, posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2009, at 19:13:25
About ten days ago a general assembled the troops and told them suicide wasn't an option, ordering them to stop. The rate has since increased.
I'm reminded of the Bob Newhart skit on MAD TV when he plays a psychiatrist and his answer to everything is: "STOP IT!". "Just stop it!"
Sheep commit suicide and goats are neurotic and have panic attacks. When farmers started feeding sheep parts to cattle, mad cow disease broke out. When ranchers fed infected cow parts to cattle (canabalism) and humans ate the meat, the disease jumped species and infected humans. (Discovery Channel)
Phillipa, I wish your son well. The VA hospital is too far and too much a nightmare for me, so I use tricare as a fall back. VA is free but it's a slow death. Hope Obama can finally drive the fat-cat medical insurance industry out of the health care equation.
I'm really manic after more trauma with my neighbors about their barking dog. Called the police for the first time in 10 months - that hurts me more than them. 9 days sober until now.
Last night after the police talked to them, the barking got worse and I was in DESPAIR. I mean, noise (PTSD) is TORTURE for me. I'm half deaf in one ear and keep double-paned windows closed and the dog's bark still cuts right through me.
I briefly considered suicide but drank instead. Now, of course, all's quiet. So the police had some effect.
Sorry this wasn't administravtioivish. And why ain't I blocked already?
Wurm
Posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2009, at 19:55:36
In reply to Military Suicides, posted by verne on June 12, 2009, at 19:39:48
Verne we Wuv you. What happened to the move to the water? love Phillipa not that I'm there anymore either.
Posted by Sigismund on June 12, 2009, at 21:01:47
In reply to Military Suicides, posted by verne on June 12, 2009, at 19:39:48
>When farmers started feeding sheep parts to cattle, mad cow disease broke out. When ranchers fed infected cow parts to cattle (canabalism) and humans ate the meat, the disease jumped species and infected humans.
Waste not, want not, hey? Don't want any of that valuable animal protein to go to waste. All of those cow off cuts are real good stock feed. Just watch out for swine flu. You wouldn't wanna decimate the human population.
Posted by Phillipa on June 12, 2009, at 21:12:21
In reply to Military Suicides, posted by verne on June 12, 2009, at 19:39:48
OOPS works for Verterans in Modern Warfare. No not just in Greenville just hangs a shingle there. Is in Washington DC most of the week. Love Phillipa
Posted by obsidian on June 12, 2009, at 22:02:33
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by SLS on June 12, 2009, at 5:50:14
I agree.
Posted by obsidian on June 12, 2009, at 22:40:48
In reply to Military Suicides, posted by verne on June 12, 2009, at 19:39:48
what a strange thing to order. we like to think we can control a lot more things than we can.
I hope you can get some rest now. No sleep is no good when you are irritable. I turn crazy when I don't sleep.
I have just started smoking pot again. I got tired of feeling agitated. I don't recommend it by the way, but only say it because it is something I probably know I shouldn't do (just as you know you shouldn't drink).
Posted by rskontos on June 14, 2009, at 0:22:50
In reply to why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by twinleaf on June 11, 2009, at 17:41:54
, say 2006, you will see how much warmth and goodwill has been lost, and how mean-spirited and even cruel many of the exchanges here now are. Unfortunately, I think Happy is right: fair-minded people who intend to have the happiest and most fulfilled lives that they can, and who wish the same for others no longer belong here. Even worse, some of us who trusted Babble, Bob and the posters here have had horrible, stressful experiences- ones we do not have in our daily lives and shouldn't have anywhere. I am going to be very blunt: Bob is possibly a sadistic individual who damages the people he comes into contact with. I am just one of many who has been hurt by him- not the first and, sadly, probably not the last by far.
** I agree. I have been here since 2006 and the tone and level of threads, posts, tones of voice in threads/posts, has indeed changed and not for the better I am afraid. I have been hurt by things he has said and by the things he has done to others I feel for.
>
> I, and very likely others here. expected Bob to be roughly similar to therapists in our real lives whom we have chosen because they are warm, intelligent, well-trained, and able to help us live happier and more fulfilling lives. I think we are discovering, painfully, that Bob does not possess any of these qualities. He is an on-line conundrum- anonymous, unknown, cold, and at times dangerous to our well-being.
\
I find the site a safe place, or rather I once did. I once felt like I needed Babble like I did my therapy sessions. Sadly I no longer feel like it is the safest place anymore.
Posted by rskontos on June 14, 2009, at 0:28:00
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » twinleaf, posted by rskontos on June 14, 2009, at 0:22:50
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 17, 2009, at 22:21:43
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by Tabitha on June 12, 2009, at 11:27:00
Wow, this is exactly what I was thinking. On what other board would the administrator, no owner, be expected to be warm, enthusiastic, in touch, and in a relationship with the people there? I can't think of a single other board I've been involved with that is like that. And it shouldn't be. Dr. Bob would be rolling the dough from all the bills he would send out if he were to be like a therapist to us. This is a peer support board. I am dumbfounded.
And, I don't know if people gossip or not, but wow, that would be weird. I mean, nobody here is really all that real to me. I don't use my real name. I have said things about my life, but there's no way anyone is going to figure out who I am out of the millions of people in my metro area. So I care, a lot, about people here, but there is a necessary and complete distance that separates me from anyone I am actually "talking" to. So that none of this affects my day to day life. I will leave before I let the unreality of a bulletin board become my actual reality.
> I'm baffled when folks find it hurtful that Dr Bob doesn't behave like a warm and wonderful therapist. Why should he? He's not a therapist, and that's not his role here.
>
> In life, people in authority or leadership aren't likely to be wise & warm therapist-like figures. Is your boss that way? Your accountant? Your family doctor? It's almost as odd to me as if someone reported they were emotionally damaged by the coldness of their stockbroker. If that happened, wouldn't it be time to look at your expectations and projections? So why such expectations of a research psychiatrist & website owner?
>
> I wouldn't even want Dr Bob to be such a wonderful figure. Then this place would become "the Dr Bob Show" instead of a peer group support board.
Posted by yxibow on June 18, 2009, at 12:07:00
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful... » Tabitha, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 17, 2009, at 22:21:43
I have had feelings of leaving the board too... I left twice for some weeks I think after blocks which I felt were truly mincing and over parsing words.
I now bend over backward to be so civil that I can't express what I really mean about certain alternative therapies, certain "faiths" which are strongly anti-psychiatry, and other matters which would at best get a f-word on your typical "underground" or site-associated place run typically with an a-hem, much better system of posting.
If you've ever looked at these web boards, usually some variant of v-bulletin or other software, they have the ability for moderators to delete posts (in a different way from here), individuals to edit or delete their own posts if they change their mind about what was said, and even add something to their original post.And also, a-hem, I know this is a research project and thus everything that someone ever said is on google, but that isn't the way most specialized boards are run. First of all crawling takes up bandwidth, and second of all privacy is wanted.
So only parts of the site ever get indexed, and they have a robots.txt file that (if crawlers follow the rules) mutes most of what is said so what someone said 5 years ago isn't still out there and can't be erased and still embarrasses the person.
And there is such a thing as not being able to respond to a "hurtful event" in 'real time'.People do have to conduct their lives off this board and its not realistic to expect an immediate return.
It may take several days to come back to the board, to find yourself blocked for 720 years.
I know of people I know that haven't gotten to my email in several weeks.
Just my 2c-- Jay
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 18, 2009, at 12:43:27
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by yxibow on June 18, 2009, at 12:07:00
You know, ironically, I experienced that in between the time I posted last and the time you posted this message. So it's time for me to take a break. Or remain doing as I have done, posting strictly about meds and alternatives and etc. The rest is not useful in my life.
> I have had feelings of leaving the board too... I left twice for some weeks I think after blocks which I felt were truly mincing and over parsing words.
Posted by SLS on June 18, 2009, at 12:50:37
In reply to Re: why this site can be so hurtful..., posted by yxibow on June 18, 2009, at 12:07:00
Hi Jay.
What's wrong with the way I am approaching things here on the threads below to try to get more people to participate in discussing the operation of the website and the rules of civility?
- Scott
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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