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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on July 19, 2004, at 8:27:41
I Jus't Finished "The Eyre Affair" and -- Obvious'ly -- Love'd It! It's One of the Fun'nies't and Most en'joyably Lit'er'ary novel's I'"ve Rea'd in Year's!
My question is, who do you think had more fun with the bookworms? The readers -- you and me -- or Jasper Fforde? The whole thing with apostrophes and unnecessary punctuation as waste products from their diets was just priceless.
Thank you for the recommendation. Now, on to "Lost In A Good Book"!
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 19, 2004, at 14:04:06
In reply to Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by Racer on July 19, 2004, at 8:27:41
YAY!!!! Oh, I'm so pleased.. I get so worried when I make such a strong reccomendation (hence my panic and downgrading my reccomendation *l*)!!! *grins*
Shall I ask him next week when I meet him??!! I loved the book worms.. Its a book you HAVE to read parts out aloud to people.. *l* The book worms were the part that convinced Julian he had to read them!
And.. just to excite you even further.. http://www.jasperfforde.com *g* Its a FANTASTIC website!! Theres a page that explains alot of references from the books.. there were tons I missed!!!
Only 7 more days till the 4th book in the series is out!!!
Nikki xxx
Posted by SLS on July 19, 2004, at 21:25:17
In reply to Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by Racer on July 19, 2004, at 8:27:41
You guys are so fortunate to be able to read.
I can get through about two sentences word for word before having to stop. Anything more than that, I have to skim. Even with skimming, I am limited to a few paragraphs - 1 or 2 pages at the most. Reading books is a very foreign experience to me. It just doesn't make any sense to me how people do that, especially for pleasure. Reading even the simplest instructions to perform the simplest of tasks is hard labor. If I push - I mean really push - to read several paragraphs word for word, I become completely exhausted and suffer a worsening of all aspects of depression that can last for several hours.
Reading is only one aspect of living among many that is affected to such a degree. I don't think I have ever complained in detail about how bad things are for me. Not really. I just refer to things in passing. I hate to complain. I really do. But there is so much pain and frustration. It is almost too much to bear. Actually, it is too much to bear - there is just no alternative. I am trapped inside my body, crushed, and I can't get out. Sometimes I feel like I am chained to the bottom of a murky ocean. When I look up, I see everyone else playing joyfully in the many colors to be found in the freedom of firm ground and clean air. I'm not allowed to go there.
- Scott
Posted by Racer on July 20, 2004, at 12:35:11
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by SLS on July 19, 2004, at 21:25:17
To give you an idea of how I am today, I wrote you a long, caring post a little while ago, then managed to delete the whole damn thing by mistake. I don't have it in me to try to recreate that post, so I'll make this short. Well, considering my usual verbosity, short for me. If it sounds cold, it's only because my mood is heading south by the second.
Have you always had this sort of problem reading? There's a big streak of reading problems in my family, and it's a subject that interests me a lot, so I'm very curious and hoping you won't mind telling me a bit about what it's like for you.
Also, for the past year, I've been unable to read. This is the first time in my life that I haven't been able to turn to the written word for solace, and it was less like losing a limb than losing a vital organ. It's only in the last few weeks that I've been able to read again. It may be quite different from what you experience, but it does make my heart go out to you about the distress you must feel over this. You description of being chained to the bottom of an ocean rang true, and just tore at my heart.
When I couldn't read, I did try to figure out what was causing it -- I'd sit down with a book, or a magazine, or a newspaper, and try to read, but I'd get too agitated, too distracted, and then I'd fall into despair because I couldn't concentrate. Another *failure* in my life, and a failure in an area that I had always been able to rely upon, my one rock-solid safe harbor. I don't think I'd ever felt such utter misery before, and I certainly wanted to die rather than live that way.
Scott, you can't know how sorry I am that you're living through such hell. Not just the reading, of course, but all of it. It's not much, but I hope it helps a little to know that there's someone who thinks of you, and cares.
Posted by SLS on July 21, 2004, at 7:46:44
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something » SLS, posted by Racer on July 20, 2004, at 12:35:11
Hi Racer.
> To give you an idea of how I am today, I wrote you a long, caring post a little while ago, then managed to delete the whole damn thing by mistake.
Ouch. I feel deprived.
> Have you always had this sort of problem reading?
Not really. It became severe as my depression became severe. It is tied in directly to depression.
> There's a big streak of reading problems in my family, and it's a subject that interests me a lot, so I'm very curious and hoping you won't mind telling me a bit about what it's like for you.
I don't really know what there is to tell. I can see the letters. I can see the words. I can't make the words go into my head. I feel a great weight on my mind that slows my thoughts and crushes me as I continue to read each word. It is an extreme mental fatigue. Reading saps my strength. It is not a problem of concentration. I am concentrating as hard as I can. I just can't process a sequence of words. I can't even get my eyes to continue to move forward through the sentence I'm reading when I reach my limit. My limit is usually 2 1/2 sentences. Your posts are usually too long for me.
> Also, for the past year, I've been unable to read.
I don't see how you can say that after starting this thread. Do you skim through entire books? I have to skim through everything. The medical stuff that you think I have mastered is really the result of skimming through the brief abstracts on Medline. I don't even read those word for word.
> This is the first time in my life that I haven't been able to turn to the written word for solace, and it was less like losing a limb than losing a vital organ.
After 25 years of not reading, I cannot fully appreciate what I have not been exposed to. I cannot fully appreciate what I have failed to learn and understand. Whenever I am confronted by a situation that demonstrates my deprivation of the knowledge that comes primarily from reading, I suffer a real trauma that can take days to get over. I am fortunate that the good Lord has seen it fit to give me a gift of being able to do so much with so little.
> It's only in the last few weeks that I've been able to read again.
When I attained remission in 1987 for 9 months, I remember reading an entire book with ease. I didn't have to push at all. I was actually drawn to each page in a way that had them turning one after the other without my having to stop after every few sentences. It was like being able to ride a bike for the first time. It was so cool to be able to ride wherever I wanted to with so little effort.
I really appreciate the time you took to write the letter you accidently deleted. :-) The one you posted was just find.
- Scott
Posted by Racer on July 21, 2004, at 9:57:06
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by SLS on July 21, 2004, at 7:46:44
Hm... What you describe sounds a little like what I was experiencing while I couldn't read. It felt as if it was just too much work to try to get another word into my brain, and I'd give up.
For me, though, it seemed to be a sort of anxiety-related thing: I'd get too tense, and other issues would intrude. Then again, since reading has always been my escape, I was very motivated to analyse what was going on to try to find a way to stop it. Took a long time, and not entirely fixed yet, but it did help to try to analyse it. At least I did feel so brain damaged once I realized how much was anxiety related. (my stomach tightened up about the time the distractions intruded -- pretty good hint for me.)
I'm sorry you're unable to read, and very sorry my posts are too long for you. Brevity is the soul of wit, so I guess I'm only a half-wit? Doesn't matter how much you've mastered or not mastered the medical stuff, Scott -- I still care about you and wish you always the best. Regardless of your mind, your heart is of infinite value.
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 21, 2004, at 10:06:46
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something » SLS, posted by Racer on July 21, 2004, at 9:57:06
I've had periods of being unable to read.. and I have HATED though periods.. books are such a huge huge part of my life.. hell, I even cry when I finish a book I've enjoyed lots as the characters have become my friends!!
Work is killing my reading ability at the moment.. I'm just SO tired! But I can still read nice light books.. but anything that needs much concentration is out of the window for a while.. With 90 mins a day on the bus, I do need something to pass that time.. the mornings are covered by the freebie newwspaper that I grab from a nearby tube station!
Heck.. is that the time?? Damn.. gone 4pm and I've still not done the washing up.. aaahhhh....
Byeeee
Nikki x
Posted by Racer on July 21, 2004, at 11:49:45
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by NikkiT2 on July 21, 2004, at 10:06:46
How's that new job going? Are you still chuffed about it?
Time for a good update about it, girl!
Posted by Noa on July 21, 2004, at 21:35:22
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by NikkiT2 on July 21, 2004, at 10:06:46
I have periods of not being able to concentrate enough to read, too. I think it is a hard time 'settling down' enough, quieting the clutter in my mind enough to absorb what I'm reading.
I have always had on and off reading episodes, but they are more pronounced in recent years, even during remission now from my worst depression.
But I am so happy when I am in a period of being able to read, because I love reading.
Posted by SLS on July 22, 2004, at 10:46:03
In reply to Re: reading periods come and go, posted by Noa on July 21, 2004, at 21:35:22
> But I am so happy when I am in a period of being able to read, because I love reading.It's like having a wide open highway through which information and entertainment run freely. I remember...
Right now, whenever I try to read, I find myself running immediately into brick walls and dead ends.
- Scott
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 22, 2004, at 14:23:03
In reply to Re: Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something » NikkiT2, posted by Racer on July 21, 2004, at 11:49:45
Full update will come when I have some energy!! *laughing*
But I'm loving it.. work is fantastic.. The work is good, and the people are all so so nice.. I really am enjoying it!!!
But woah.. its soooo tiring!! I know my body will eventually get used to it.. but at the moment I am exhuasted at the end of each day!!! Insomnia is also bad.. brain got too many things to think about *L* But, I am enjoying it thoroughly!!!!
Will tell more at weekend!!
Nikki xxx
Posted by Noa on July 22, 2004, at 19:09:44
In reply to Re: reading periods come and go, posted by SLS on July 22, 2004, at 10:46:03
Scott-how sad I feel that you have no reprieve from this.
This is the end of the thread.
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