Posted by SLS on July 19, 2004, at 21:25:17
In reply to Nikki? I'd like you opinion on something, posted by Racer on July 19, 2004, at 8:27:41
You guys are so fortunate to be able to read.
I can get through about two sentences word for word before having to stop. Anything more than that, I have to skim. Even with skimming, I am limited to a few paragraphs - 1 or 2 pages at the most. Reading books is a very foreign experience to me. It just doesn't make any sense to me how people do that, especially for pleasure. Reading even the simplest instructions to perform the simplest of tasks is hard labor. If I push - I mean really push - to read several paragraphs word for word, I become completely exhausted and suffer a worsening of all aspects of depression that can last for several hours.
Reading is only one aspect of living among many that is affected to such a degree. I don't think I have ever complained in detail about how bad things are for me. Not really. I just refer to things in passing. I hate to complain. I really do. But there is so much pain and frustration. It is almost too much to bear. Actually, it is too much to bear - there is just no alternative. I am trapped inside my body, crushed, and I can't get out. Sometimes I feel like I am chained to the bottom of a murky ocean. When I look up, I see everyone else playing joyfully in the many colors to be found in the freedom of firm ground and clean air. I'm not allowed to go there.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:367687
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/367996.html