Posted by TNJ76 on July 28, 2009, at 3:30:59
Hello,
I'm not going to get deep into my underlying problems because that is another story and that would take too long of a time.
I weaned off Effexor XR over a period of 2 months, after being on it for 5 years at a dosage of 150MG, and experienced the "Brain Zaps" and even after the initial mental shocks seemed to go away, some other side effects lingered on for months of which included Extreme Sexual Dysfunction, body numbness, etc. Finally after a few months the libido came back and the Sexual Dysfunction seemed to go away for the most part. The numbness also subsided. Bottom line is that I felt normal again in regards to the harsh side effects. I still encountered a deep dark depression that kept me bed bound at times and also debilitating social phobia, ocd, etc. I definitely also had Suicidal Ideation.
That was back in 2005.
I wanted to try to find another med that might work like the Effexor XR had worked before it puttered out and stopped working.I then took many many different meds over a 1 year period but for only short time periods as they had bad side effects and others just didn't work effectively. It would be fair to say I took over 20 different meds ranging from Antidepressants to Antipsychotics to Lithium, etc.
I am a firm believer in "Altered Gene Expression" whereby the brain can begin overproducing or underproducing neurotransmitters when triggered even once by a drug or by different combinations of drugs. This will be a temp or permanent change in brain chemistry even after stopping the taking of the drug. The time period for altered gene expression to take place can range from only taking meds very short term to long term. The bottom line is that we really don't know what is going on in the world of neuroscience and we are all our best doctors as only we can observe our own experiences.
I went from being severely depressed with suicidal ideation when not on an AntiDepressant to suddenly not feeling that way after going through my "year of different meds." This is not to say my problems are gone or I'm even enjoying life, but the extreme deep dark depression that was on autopilot isn't there and hasn't been there and I didn't need to take anymore meds. It seemed that whatever neurotransmitters that were causing me to have deep dark depression had somehow rearranged and stayed that way even without taking anymore medication. Now that is strange and it was the first time it had happened to me.
NOT TOO FAST ---------
THE MYSTERY / POSSIBLY THE HEALER? I DON'T KNOW.I'M THINKING THAT MAYBE CLONAZEPAM HAS CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY, ETC ETC AND THAT IS WHY I HAVN'T BEEN DEPRESSED. I'VE READ A BIT ABOUT THIS DRUG BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING ANTIDEPRESSANT QUALITIES AS WELL. I'M NOT SURE BUT I FEEL THAT MAYBE IT DOES.
I began taking Clonazepam somewhere around 2005 on an "As Needed" basis. I very rarely even took the drug. In 30 days of a month sometimes I would only take the pill once, twice or up to 5 times at most. The dosage at first was low - only .25 or .50 - and taken only once a day as needed.
Then as my Social Anxiety issues seemed to be getting out of hand I found myself taking the pills more frequently and eventually I was taking the pill on an everyday basis sometime around 2007. It was at this time that I began to actively get new 30 day prescriptions from my Dr. and I would be empty by day 30.
Then sometime around Spring of 2008 is when I began taking it even more. I began building up a tolerance and my dosage went up to 1 MG a day. That continued upwards to 2 MG a day in Fall of 2008 and since then I would take 2 MG a day - sometimes not take it because I didn't remember to or didn't feel I needed it - and sometimes when my anxiety was sky high I would even take 2.5 MG to 3 MG.
Around June of 2009 - this summer - I ran out of my prescription and thought absolutely nothing of it. I must admit I was a bit naive to think that this drug had become an addiction. I had no idea. I still considered myself to be taking a drug that had a short shelf life in the body and thought of it as something either in my system working or out of my system. I didn't realize that my brain chemistry has adapted to the longevity and potency of this medication. I guess I had always been taking a high enough dosage often enough to never feel the withdrawal symptoms before.
Make a long story short - after about a week of not having Clonazepam in my system I began getting tremendous classic symptoms. Delusions, cognitive impairments, speech slurs, hot/cold sweats, intense painful sensitivity to light, nausea, stomach cramps, heart palpitations, you name it. I thought I was losing my mind BUT I STILL DIDN'T ATTRIBUTE THESE SYMPTOMS TO HAVING A "BENZO WITHDRAWAL."
It finally hit me like a ton of bricks when I pondered if that may just be the cause.
I went to my Dr. and got a new prescription and BAM - the withdrawal symptoms vanished in hours. I felt relieved. I felt saved. I was actually so happy that I wasn't feeling like I was going down the tubes of despair and confusion anymore.
That is when I began researching Benzo Withdrawals and now the reality has set in that this Pill is gonna be a big pain to get off of.
My question to any of you who have successfully or are currently going through the Withdrawal "Taper Process" yourself:
A. Do you recommend the Ashton Manual?
B. Do you feel that a slow taper will actually work effectively? And what time frame are we looking at? I'm currently able to take (1) .50 a day and not experience bone chilling withdrawal.
C. Does anybody think that using another med is by far the best way to combat this? I really wouldn't want to go that route because that same process of addiction can just as well happen with the pill I'm using to get off the Benzo.All answers are very appreciated and thanks in advance to all.
I guess if after withdrawing permanently from this Benzo and my Deep Dark Depression returns, I'll know what roll this drug was playing on me.
Sicerely,
TNJ76
poster:TNJ76
thread:908959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20081229/msgs/908959.html