Posted by katia on May 31, 2005, at 22:51:28
In reply to Re: W/drawal or depression? » katia, posted by 4WD on May 31, 2005, at 21:46:10
Hi Marsha, SLS, etc.
Thanks so much for responding. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I think I'm ok one minute (like now), then I'm despairing and anxious again.
Let's see...let me answer SLS questions, then yours Marsha.You make good points SLS. (Your description of your present condition included the terms "guilt" and "negative thinking". The feelings of guilt in particular might differentiate withdrawal from depression.) AND (I would not think to place more importance on discontinuation than on remission.)
Yes, something is happening with me. Just to put my life into context...I'm finishing up grad school this quarter (writing thesis and reading tons) am a single home owner as well and working part-time so lifestyle for sure adds to the anxiety at the moment.
Animals are a good measurement for me...i.e. two weeks ago I had to trap and surrender a badly off male cat to the shelter and right after him a girl kitten shows up getting raped everyday by the stray males in the neighborhood. I've been dealing with trying to find her a home while I protect her etc...This has caused so much anxiety and guilt. I'm constantly on edge. And when depressed, I "feel" animal pain too much - any animal suffering kills me.I started Paxil a year ago May and stopped it (why now I ask myself?) in January/Feb. tapered off and went bazeerko, so went back on half of what I was on and tapered slowly over the course of three weeks. I was only on 12.5 mg, which is NOTHING. I am super sensitive though. I'm considered bipolar II and am on Trileptal at 300mg now - was at 450...(later on that). So I offically finished Paxil probably two months ago. After all this, I wish I'd never stopped it now and am realizing I got to that level steady place where my mind tricked me into thinking that I was fine, so I didn't need meds....I'm sure you've been there...
To answer your questions:
**How many times have you been on and off antidepressants?Three years ago I started the whole med thing as I was in a suicidal depression. Tried and withdrew from five ADs in one year - went hypo on two and more depressed on the others. Two years ago BP dx and Mood stabilizer trials. Finally a year ago got to Trileptal and Seroquel for sleep (anywhere in between 12.5 - 50 mg a night), then added Paxil and felt quite steady and normal.
marsha your question:
(Do you feel lethargic and apathetic? Or is it just the fear alone?)
I'm actually wired. So I'm wondering if I'm cycling. I'm not sleeping as much as normal. I did just reduce my Trileptal from 450 - 300 due to cognitive stuff and I'm trying to finish grad school and need my brain.(> I read somewhere here that one member of this board had tapered off Effexor and it took four-five months before the rebound anxiety and panic finally went away. That gave me hope that if I can just wait it out, it will go away. Did you have the fear when you withdrew from Effexor?)
I was pretty screwed up after Effexor. That was like Two and half years ago. It made me hypo and then depressed. WHILE I was on Eff. I had those zaps and shocks, not to meniton my awful withdrawal. I went to Zoloft right after and went into zombie land.
So, what I'm thinking is this: If this is withdrawal, the last thing I want to do is add something else on top of this to confuse my entire state. BUT if this is a depression or mixed state, then I need to do something. Meds scare me, but so do my mood swings. I feel confused about the whole dx and med game....
Thanks for your replies. It means a lot
Katia
poster:katia
thread:501604
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20050519/msgs/506099.html