Posted by alexandra_k on December 2, 2019, at 19:31:03
In reply to Re: Dilemma..could use some opinions please.... » alexandra_k, posted by jay2112 on December 1, 2019, at 0:53:41
Sounds to me like poverty is overwhelming you. I know how that feels. Lack of options. Cornered. Hopeless / helpless.
My motorcycle died, recently. I have been feeling trapped without it. The feeling of freedom of being able to put miles between myself and everything else. The joy of being on the road.
My mother said she would help me get a new one. She said a dollar amount. That was more than I was expecting. I felt like I had options. I started looking into options. I started researching differnet things and thinking about different things. I didn't feel cornered anymore. Even though my circumstances / situation hasn't changed at all, yet.
I just mean that poverty can take away options and grind you down, for sure.
I know what you mean about people viewing experience as a baggage rather than an asset. It is a difficult thing because experience can go either way. It all depends on what it is that you do with your experience. If you can use them to positively help others. If you unthinkingly reflect your traumas.
It is really hard to put yourself out there. Applying for jobs when you kept getting kicked back. Feels like. Especially for sensitive and kind people -- as you are. But sometimes it takes time for jobs to come through for people.
There is this thing about 'fake it till ya make it' and putting on the act as though everything is okay so that people can see your potential... How you would be, what you would be, if everything was okay. Of course it is hard... Maybe next to impossible to do that when things are not okay. So I don't know.
I guess I meant to say that sometimes things start from within. You have control over your house. Whether it is clean or not. I don't know if you can find a cheap instument? Or play records? I don't know...
If you were your social worker... What would you do? What would you think of to help you help you?
Does that make sense?
I know that for me, cleaning house is symbolic or something.
I clean my house particularly before I settle into a big work effort or similar. A way of clearing my mind. Getting my things in order. Being organised.
Do you have a lot of baggage you need to get rid of? If there is no room in your kitchen, I mean?
Is there an organisation or something that may be able to help you get some kind of instrument if that is important to you... A firmer bed?
Help you put yourself out there to apply for jobs?
Help you with interview clothes or something maybe even?
I don't know if there may be good volunteer organisations / opportunities. They can sometimes be hard to find...
I am just trying to throw out ideas to help you feel less stuck in a dilemma... More options...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1106900
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20190715/msgs/1106978.html