Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2014, at 22:31:43
In reply to Re: science, posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2014, at 22:03:34
those are just two examples. i tried to recount them... the way they were. minimal interpretation.
but that is her. over and over. a continual stream of it. a continual stream of stories about things... just like that.
she'll tell me that she doesn't understand why her neighbour closes her curtains during the day. her house must get all musty and be all dark with her curtains closed like that. maybe she's depressed? maybe mother should go over and try and cheer her up?
or maybe she's closing her curtains because she's stick of mother sitting there watching everything she does all day.
constant...
when i was little...
my teachers would be forced to listen to stories about how i couldn't go and ride horses because i hadn't made my bed... or about how mother needed to make me stay at the table until midnight because i wouldn't eat my mound of silverbeet.
i think...
i think she wants someone to step up to her and tell her it like it is. and tell her that her behaviour is not okay. and tell her what behaviour is okay from her. what sorts of things would be more appropriate. maybe because she doesn't know.
it is just exhausting. it is like... she's emotionally 3 years old or something. if another person is around then she simply will not regulate her emotions (she's incapable of helping regulate anybody elses).
i think i see some things in me... which is why i stay away from people. because she doesn't seem to care when they cringe away from her... but i see and it hurts me. a lot. i feel disgust and shame. she... doesn't seem to. i .. don't know what to say.
what is wrong with her? what is wrong with me?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20141012/msgs/1072623.html