Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 13:47:23
In reply to Re: improving your life - my duty to help you » alexandra_k, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 23, 2014, at 12:57:11
i just feel like you could really use some help in setting *realistic* goals. coming up with realistic goals isn't easy -- it is HARD. most people need help with learning how to do it.
if your goals are too lofty... then it is fairly inevitable that you won't progress particularly towards them... then you will feel demoralised and useless and good for nothing... i hear you feeling a lot like that... and i don't think it is that you are lazy or good for nothing or anything like that... so much as your (legitimately) needing a little help from someone in figuring out realistic goals.
i mean... apparently some people come up with a bunch of goals. then they set out a realistic time frame. so some goals... are life goals. hopefully you will achieve them before death. and other goals are more like 30 year plans. and some might be in the 10 year frame. and others... can be as simple as taking a shower or brushing ones teeth (believe me - i've been in a place where that was a realistic goal and where i darned well deserved to feel good about myself for having mustered up the... something something... to have done it.)
when you have clear goals and can precisely measure concrete progress towards them... well... i really do think that something like this underwrites self esteem. a sense of agency and power and accomplishment and achievement in this world. without that... i don't see how people can develop very many good feelings about themself.
but figuring out realistic goals is HARD. i... wish you had some help with that, is all. i... i don't know what is realistic for you... because i don't have any way of assessing what is achievable with a bit of encouragement and work and reward... too easy and nothing much good comes out of it... but too hard and nothing much good comes out of it either... but from where i am.... i really don't see what more i can do..
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140102/msgs/1059347.html