Posted by alexandra_k on December 8, 2013, at 17:29:07
In reply to i woke up. finally., posted by alexandra_k on December 6, 2013, at 23:38:37
intense. and only been to two sessions. packed full of people... some familiar faces but lots that aren't. i'm finding it really very full on indeed.
smoking really was a social answer for me. carved out a smaller subset of people and marked them as friends. i didn't have to do the stuff of walking around from this group to that group. trying to mingle. paying attention to tone of voice and trying not to be too intense. or getting trapped talking to intense dude about kant... etc etc. stuff that i... don't do well.
(stuff that i have never practiced)
but it is okay. among friends. mostly.
writing. oh yes i am. really into the swing of it now and we are away. i feel the sense of urgency. time pressure. every hour is precious. this is what conference reminds me of. undergrad studies are like that too - with a schedule. a timetable. this week will be very full on indeed... and it will give me momentum. a sense of community. that will last me through the summer. that will get me through for the next few months. making better acquaintance with the people who are based here, too. they are friendly faces. i think i need to actually get into the department more often. write a bit in the tea room etc. for the community...
supervisor ended up cancelling. and junior colleague. i wonder what is up... i suppose... in a way... it is a good thing for me. just finish up what i've got as best i can. now is not the time for new ideas for me. just finish up. i have the momentum of progressing the plot even though the sections might be a bit rough saying what i've got to then moving along... need to send a draft...
the autistic thing is hard... coming to terms... i think the last couple years have changed me. for the worst. but maybe i'm just more self-aware than i was before. i never was a particularly happy camper. always remember... masses of social anxiety preventing me from doing most things, actually. so... things are somewhat improved. anyway... forage some lunch and see if i can get in half an hour of writing before the next session...
life is good.
i am grateful.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1055362
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131110/msgs/1055739.html