Posted by rjlockhart37 on September 27, 2013, at 21:56:14
im on facebook right now, chatted with a few people and i came across a period of just, not knowing what to say, and almost like a mental stupor....but after that, i've already felt the rejection melt over my body, but im not going to sit here and cry, no one know i am, sometimes i don't even think people know i exist.....but thats not true, but this is a system im working on putting togeher for rejection or trama...
first, there's the pre-phase where you know what could happen in a tramatic event, or anything that causes large emotional disturbance, and realize what can cause it, either at a social event, or breaking up with someone....predict it before it happens, and that way if the hurt ever comes, you at least that it can manifest.....the 2nd part is the acceptance part, i don't want to use guilt free and say someone shouldnt care for a their actions or what they say, but if it was situation you could not control, or you said something that caused rejection, or losing a friend, or breaking up with a spouse or a relationship, don't kick over again, because its already been said and done, no time manipuation to reverse it....but what you can do is learn how to get back in the flow with that person, or just find a creative way....maybe to reconnect start new coversation....but the main thing to over come trama is to grow, and have a selfrealization that you are growing, and not living in the past, because if its thought about everyday, the rejection than it effects relationships and overall life....because pain is present all the time....i think the past could be used as recorded history and knowedge to not do the same mistake again, the facts of the past....not the emotions
i chaged since 10 years ago into couple new things....i smile more, i learned how to relate to people, and not just stand around and have no reconsile of the social world.....but still i have the faults, and i do get hurt....and through that i want to make a system to prevent it from happening from other people. The things i've read about letting go of the past, is this technique i was taught at a rehab, "guilt-free" its basically saying "i did it, i have no regrets" technique cuts off emotinal connections....its a simple crude, way of doing things....yet it can make the pain and guilt go away, but its more of excusing one's self from wrongs they did....i don't like that teaching, there are tons of references i would have to look up to back that statement...
but, the last part of accepting rejection and pain, is changing from the old emotions, grow, don't dwell on the sting, the hurt is going to be there, but it can be delt with so you can live life fine, and not walk around in pain. Drugs and benzodiapines do help sometimes with rejection, but it only sedates the nerves, i was on benzos for 3 years, ativan/xanax they just made me want to ease up, and not dwell in the stinging pain...but it can create dependence. I think benzos should be used wisely for the condition.....but it can relieve the rejection pain, no doubt.
But to finish this up, the past from how i view it in my personal view, it can hold you back from moving forward....yes, because the memories of people, having a fight with their ex, and being abused, tons of reason and that sends a messge to the mind that you can't do the things things maybe that where failed in the past, let me explain this a bit better, i went to bar one time, i was drunk, and this man came up to me, and started talking and i could not understand or process anything he was saying, he said it 3 times and i couldnt understand it because it was in a bar...lots of people laughing, shouting, drunk....but he looked at me and pulled his girlfriend over and they both laughed at me, they made fun, they got other people to laugh and said i can't even understand what he was saying to me, that memory of people laughing, stepping over me, saying bad things, everytime i get to know a person, that vary memory of people laughing and saying lets leave this idiot, will come....its the fear....of rejection, the fear of that feeling felt....well this is all my personal views/and writing not a scholar....
but starting a new chapter, from the old ways to the new ways, and growing out of that abused state, there is a christain speaker/author/minister named Joyce Meyer, she has overcame so much stuff in her life, being sexually abused, many things, she's 70 years old i belive and she is the fit, soundminded person, i watch her tv show, and just cannot belive how she built herself into what she is now, its biblical foundations. And some of the stuff i wrote in this post about she has tons of things about this in her teachings.
what i hope to come to end to this, is first the pre-acceptance of pain, the acceptance, and then acceptance of something new, meaning new mentality out of the old, the past is gone and it is gone for good....making a new person, everyday you can make yourslf a new person, not stuck on the old self idenity of bad/sorrow/burdened
hope this helps who ever reads this
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 400mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1051374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130914/msgs/1051374.html