darking of the soul

sometimes I think what good has goodness has gotten me....and having a big heart to help people....its like I just waste my energy....I don't want to be walked over...and I know blackness in the heart starts with resentment, and then leads to evil thoughts, and then that what spreads blackness through the soul...I was watching a tv show that was talking about that in one scene....

so.... when I first posted here....immature, and didn't respond to people's comments on posts asking for help....changed couple times in the format on how to post....

I've thought how being good all the time is not really all that great, follow the passion of what I really want to do....and not hide behind goodie tussue thinking...and I am not a goodie tussue, I've insulted people, lied, done things maybe others have done too....its just the moral feeling is all over me. I see everyone I know and they have a fun time doing everything, and I just realize how much im losing by being too christain minded. It's time to let go....the christains I've had heart heart with in the past critized me, and left and where rude, and had no care like attitude......that's exactly what makes me want to get blackness in the heart, never be imprisoned to stuff like that....that's not false association because there are good people out there, and the problem is oversensitity....mmm its like being slapped over again for saying something nice....eventually you'll want to slap the person back and have no sympathy....that's what im saying about darkening...

well.....does anyone know what happens when someone's soul goes completely black? like hitler or something?

not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false lights of enlightment and belief systems

darking of the soul

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