Posted by sigismund on April 25, 2011, at 18:54:08
In reply to Re: I wish I was left handed, posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2011, at 10:04:07
>I think decreasing is good, probably, and not because I am a Puritan.
It can feel like quite a stretch. I try not to think about the future, just say to myself that when it gets really bad I will take some but until then I will just put it off as long as I can, and that the less I take now the less I will need. And accept that I should make no prior assumptions about what response to this world is appropriate, and that if it freaks me out, that is cool too.
And remind myself that whatever it was that made me so frightened then, it is as nothing compared to what has gone by since. It washes over you and changes you. I was frightened of shopkeepers, I was frightened that I was frightened and maybe on even further in the series. All that youthful optimism worked against me. Abandoning that sort of hope has been a relief. No one was going to say 'I love your fear. Come here and be frightened with me'. My fear was always an anomaly or an embarrassment. Not quite a man. This painful education in what it means to be human. Big change. I couldn't give a FF now about that. Sort of like a big joke, lots of material there....and it really is very funny in a gasping sort of way. Good exercise in not taking yourself too seriously.
poster:sigismund
thread:983275
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110407/msgs/983729.html