Posted by Willful on December 24, 2010, at 22:45:22
In reply to Re: opportunity to support Maxime, posted by twinleaf on December 24, 2010, at 18:21:20
I'm very unclear after quite a few of these messages what type of reparation is necessary.
In many instances, including several where I've been the recipient of treatment that felt hurtful, a general statement that the person didn't mean to hurt anyone, or myself, is sufficient.
I guess I personally would hope that Maxime, even if she is disturbed, wouldn't want to hurt Phillipa, but rather feels the matter wasn't handled correctly by Bob.
In that case, I would urge Maxime to say focus on not wanting to hurt anyone-- if only because under the circumstances its an act of loving kindness for herself and Phillipa and for us-- and doesn't suggest that Maxime thinks this was handled correctly by Bob-. Yet it would allow her to remain here. I've learned through handling a lot of situations badly, and much thinking and listening to talks on meditation, that acting skillfully under the circumstances, to the best of one's ability, is the wisest and kindest course. I'm not very good at carrying this out, but it benefits ourselves and others. So I hope Maxime can find a way to stay here and not do anything that feels dishonest or false.
And I hope that my suggestion is helpful. I don't feel sure enough of my grasp of the system now to say whether it is would be sufficient, but I do know that in many instances it makes a difference-- And I very much would not want Maxime to be alone or unsupported now.
Willful
poster:Willful
thread:970920
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20101219/msgs/974557.html