Posted by BetweenDreams81 on September 24, 2010, at 16:18:15
In reply to Re: My Story, posted by olivia12 on September 10, 2010, at 20:41:55
hi, I'm new here. Just came across this board while looking up info on Lithium Orotate.
I'm just realizing and coming to terms that I have been living with bipolar depression for the better part of 3 years, perhaps longer. I was diagnosed (4 yrs ago) at 25 with AADHD and placed on Adderall (5-10 mg). It made me obsessively focused...I literally was unable to stop doing whatever I was doing until 4-5 AM, became a skeleton due to loss of appetite, had dry mouth...and when I could no longer stand these side effects I would crash. hard. Still, because I was in college and double majoring at the time in poli sci and anthropology, I would take the Adderall to keep me focused on the volume of book work and writing that was necessary. It was a struggle I ultimately gave up, and dropped out of college...for more reasons than that of course, but that certainly had a major role. Realizing now that I was very likely swinging between mania and depression which made follow through and delivery nearly impossible. This same cycle continues with various other endeavors to present. Manic episodes have put me on the path to near financial ruin...I'm working on that one!
What made me stare it face on was a debilitating 4-month long depression this past winter. A good friend of mine whom happens to be bipolar recognized the symptoms, helped me work through my depression, and put a little seed in my brain. During that long episode I lost a number of my clients and put a ton of strain on several very close friendships. And that was then followed by a major manic episode that led to an out of state move where my whole world came crashing down...even still I hadn't entirely strung the beads together until I took a few days to visit with my dear friend again a few weeks ago. After returning home, I looked good and hard and admitted the thing I had avoided truly facing...I'm bipolar...hell, I'll take the stigma/label if it means being stable and finding more balance to my life.
So, mostly I'm here to learn. about this bipolar disorder. about myself. about you. And I am a great listener and I'm here for you if you're here for me.
poster:BetweenDreams81
thread:961477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100907/msgs/963622.html