Posted by Christ_empowered on June 3, 2010, at 20:29:08
hey everyone. I'm 26 and I started seeing shrinks when I was 18. I started hearing voices and experiencing insomnia and agitation before then, when I was about 16 years old. My life has been dominated by "mental illness," both the symptoms and the attempts to treat it. I'm done now, thank God. After a year-long stay in a Christian treatment program, I've been able to taper off my meds (depakote+atypical antipsychotic) and I've become a lot more mature, a lot more kind, and lot less crazy...basically, I'm better. I don't have a problem with using drugs when they're needed, but I don't need them right now, so I don't take them. I might consider a low-dose Zyprexa or something, should I have a flare-up and need meds for a couple days or weeks at a time.
ANYWAY...what am I going to do now? I'm moving to a state that will let me go to school for free (tuition AND books!) just for being a resident. All I have to do is start at a tech school and demonstrate that I can maintain a good GPA, then I can eventually transfer to a 4-year school. I've decided to start completely over in my schooling; I'm not transferring in a single credit (they're all old and out-of-state, anyway). I'm so excited!
I also "got religion"...it'd be more accurate to say that God saved me and made Himself known to me (or at least made His existence clear to me, let's put it that way). I plan on building my social connections through my local church.THe problem is..what do I tell people? "Hey, yeah, ummm..I don't have a degree and haven't been working for a long time because I was crazy. Well, I'm not now, I'm recovered, but I was. And I had to do a 1 year treatment program."
See what I'm saying? Its great that God has healed me through His followers and wise (and temporary) use of meds, but now its all on me. I have to live a productive, responsible, joyful life as a Christian ex-mental patient, and its DAUNTING. My parents are supportive (financially and otherwise), but I'll still need to get employed soon, which is going to be challenging.
Also..I'm different from other people. The people I still talk to from back when I was crazy are married, in grad school or done with school, and..I just don't fit in. I'm smart, and I read a lot, and I come from a well-educated background, but...I'm just not "one of them".
THen there's people in the town I'm moving to. THey've been working or in school, or..doing *something*. I'm 26 and I'm really just now a true adult, you know what I mean? My emotional growth was stymied by social isolation, medication and drug use, "mental illness", and the stigma of being "crazy". Now I'm 26 and just now going (back) to school and...ugh. I'm thankful, I really am, I just feel so behind everyone else.
Please post something helpful, or uplifting, or..something. Thanks
poster:Christ_empowered
thread:949884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100528/msgs/949884.html