Posted by Kath on August 3, 2009, at 20:56:49
In reply to Should I do this?, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:38:52
Hi Deneb,
Just reading this now.
I'm impressed with the responses you got.
I hear that sometimes you feel AWFULLLLLLLLLLL. I can relate. If I'm feeling awful, it's usually a panic/frantic/helpless/scared type of feeling (unless it's curled up in fetal position & paralyzed type - which usually happens in the winter & I suspect is part of SAD).
I have an idea & don't know if it might help, so I'm mentioning it anyway. I'm also going to relate something that happened to me during a counselling session that helped me understand what works for me to calm myself down when I'm SUPER stressed about something. Actually, I'll tell that first.
I was at the counsellor's. She has bio-feedback machines. I was hooked up to them & my body-reactions were showing on the computer screen. She wanted me to get feeling upset, so that I could SEE what the waves looked like on the screen when I was upset, so that she could work on some methods of feeling LESS upset & so that the difference was noticeable enough on the screen.
So - I said, okay, I'll tell you about something REALLY upsetting & I'll tell you in great detail. So I did. I started talking about it & told how I'd felt & what had happened & all the details. So the waves on screen started to change quite noticeably.....BUT they were changing to waves that indicated getting CALMER!!!
She said, "Look at that!! You've calmed yourself right down by TELLING about it!!!! What great information for you - you calm down by talking in detail about things that upset you! This can be very useful information for you."
I had assumed I'd get upset, but the opposite happened.
What I'm wondering Deneb, is if it really helps you to type about how you're feeling....to have the thoughts, think about them, and type them out. I wonder if you had a special file or area on your computer where you could type out what you'd normally type in a post. In fact, you could even go into more detail, since your wouldn't have to worry about triggers etc.
I'm not suggesting that you don't seek out someone to connect with at those times. I think IRL people would be best. I can't remember your experience with phone-help-lines. Where I live, we have 310-COPE, a 24/7 phone-in help centre. I've phoned them numerous times. Some workers are better suited to me than others.
Anyway, I thought I'd mention my experience and my idea.
As to your original question, if someone posts that they're feeling dreadful & not doing well, I take it seriously & am concerned about them & to some extent, feel stressed. Sometimes I reach out & sometimes I can't; it's too much for me.
I always appreciate having a follow-up as to how the person is doing. Even if I haven't replied to their post.When you're feeling really bad, I wonder if it always takes about the same amount of time for you to get feeling better? What time ranges does it take to feel better? Also, I'm wondering if there is anything in particular that you think helps you get feeling better?
:-)) Kath
poster:Kath
thread:908553
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090802/msgs/910110.html