Posted by Timne on July 5, 2009, at 13:20:09
In reply to Re: need strength re toxic birth mom ??**trigger**?? » Timne, posted by surfergirl on July 5, 2009, at 11:18:28
> Hi Timne,
>
> You are so eloquent & I have re-read your script about 15 times. Your words to the un-mom are very helpful for me to just have in my head, even if I don't use them all.
>thank you. One thing I keep in mind about someone such as a person in her position -- she wasn't up to parenting in a certain set of circumstances. Had things been different around a person, the person's ability to perform socially might be very different.
Then, not having performed as expected or required in part because the person was not equipped with whatever resource, a whole new set of problematic coping skills can emerge as a reaction to the social disruption the underlying problem cause, which can appear to be fundamental character traits. In a way they are - they are chronic coping patterns, but only in context of a series of events that led to that expression of character. In a different context, away from the specter of whatever might've contributed to somebody's difficult traits, other traits can develop.
poster:Timne
thread:904810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090624/msgs/905093.html