Posted by Tabitha on June 8, 2009, at 12:32:21
I bought one of those "how to weed out the marriage-minded men from the others" books from the bargain bin at Barnes & Noble. (Here's the Amazon link "The List 7 Ways To Tell If He's Going To Marry You in 30 Days or Less")
It's about looking for a love at first sight type of reaction from a man. It says men know within two or three dates if they're going to marry you, and when they meet the right woman, it's like an alarm goes off in their brain. I really wish there had been some sociological data to back up this claim. No doubt some courtships are quick, but some are long.
So I wonder-- for you marrieds, how long was your courtship? How long before the idea or certainty of marriage came up?
I think my perceptions are skewed because my male friends & colleagues all seem to be the eternally single types. One friend has been living with his girlfriend for years now. He tells me that marriage is the ultimate defeat for a man, that no man wants it, and they all have to be coaxed or tricked into it by the woman. Another friend dated his girlfriend for nearly ten years and broke up with her when she pressed to live together.
Looking back in my own life, there were several men who came on with a quick & intense interest in me. I generally wrote them off as "weird" or not good enough for me, and continued pursuing the disinterested and unattainable ones.
Oh how much mental energy I've wasted with foot-dragging suitors! That makes the message of this book so appealing. Maybe it's not really that difficult. Maybe "when it happens it happens" and I just need to look for that, and quit wasting time with the ones where it's not happening.
poster:Tabitha
thread:899995
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090604/msgs/899995.html