Posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2009, at 16:40:09
In reply to I am sad, posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 3:15:55
I usually figure out - sometimes much later - these kind of tears and deep pain have nothing to do with the present situation at all. Hard as it is (for me)to believe or understand, "old stuff" lingers and new things remind our unconscious of things that wounded us a long time ago. Are there maybe family things that happened, that to a part of you, are very much like watching someone else get support in a chat? The first thing that popped into my head was that maybe you felt scared and sad, as if, "oh, no, if someone else gets support (love? attention?) there will be none for me. When is *my* turn?"
Don't mean to play amateur T., but it's just that these feelings aren't uncommon - I have been there. I am always startled at how STRONG and SUDDEN they are, worse than if someone say, offended, insulted, snubbed me in the here and now....really....
I could be way off, but it's something to consider. I know you have a really good pdoc/T, Deneb. Hope you tell her this just like you did here. She can help you explore. Bearing it....it usually it a matter of time, repetition...old grief loves to hang around and pop up its head to be felt over and over. Guess we have to really feel stuff we didn't or couldn't the first time.
It sucks and it hurts. But I KNOW you can walk through it to the other side. Silly probably, but sometimes I try to think of it (living through the sad feelings) as a medical treatment that is vital to heal me, like something a medical doctor HAS to do, but HAS to hurt during the "procedure" in order to work...helps me with perspective and tolerating pain somewhat....
Remember, emotions are guaranteed to do one thing - change....
Distraction is all I can suggest. Maybe post something on the Psych board, too? ((Deneb))
poster:10derHeart
thread:889768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090331/msgs/889843.html