Posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by yellowbird01 on February 14, 2009, at 20:43:44
Hi.
I am very sorry for your having been without a true (truthful) valentine this year.
Men are sometimes very simple to understand, though.
I know nothing of your story, so I am reluctant to comment too heavily here. I think he possibly is afraid to be without you, but may never have been in love with you. He just wants to make sure that he is not alone. He wants to keep his options open until he finds something "better". He may never have been truthful with you in not disclosing to you his lack of feelings for you. He possibly is not truthful with himself, but that's not your problem.
Mixed messages? Yes, definitely. Confusing? Not so much. Take him at his word today. Don't let his confusion become yours. Be clear to yourself what you want. If he is not able or unwilling to give it to you, then it is your choice whether or not you will allow him to play with you. Some men understand very little about women except for how to string them along. And he will do so successfully, as long as you think there might be any chance for love and union.
I have to apologize. I guess those were some pretty strong comments after all. Forgive me if they are way out of whack. I just don't like to see women taken advantage of by the likes of former scumbags like me.
Maybe your ex-not-ex is genuinely interested in maintaining a friendship with you - a person whom he genuinely likes. Are you interested in being just friends for always and forever?
I know myself pretty well by now. If the situation were reversed, and a woman for whom I had strong romantic feelings decided to terminate the romantic relationship, I would opt to cut off all communications with that person so that I could move on, regardless of her sincere desires to remain friends. Hurt just once and be done with it.
Anyway, I hope that you get what you want. You deserve better than a friend bearing expensive gifts. You deserve a lover bearing his soul.
What babbling!
I know I sound pretentious. Forgive me. Maybe that's something I should change?
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:880061
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090209/msgs/880199.html