Posted by WaterSapphire on August 16, 2008, at 4:07:29
I used to be Tanzanite, and before that I cannot remember who I was. I had missed being a part of this site and so much happened where we lived before...I didn't remember if I had been on babble since 2006. By the time that summer came I had been so sick and weak, and kept falling we lost our mobile home. My husband had to quit his job, and drive me all the way to my parents home where we lived for 1 1/2 years. Things got very bad there, and I was too afraid to leave my room because my younger brother had a bad temper and would yell at me and say awful things, but because he was the baby and still is he can do no wrong. My husband had to stay home with me to help take care of me at the time, and considering he owed child support and this had greatly changed our ability to take care of my stepdaughter (in another state), it made things even harder. My parents got angry because my husband was not able to work with my anxiety and issues of fear of my brother (things have since gotten a little better), and because other people in the extended family were making comments about us. They forced us out (with a little help) in such a short period of time we had to settle for an horrible apartment that had problems because we could not get one in our name because of all of our financial problems. By now, it is 2008. For over two years I had began having an increase of medical symptoms with tremors, falling, twitching, memory loss, weakness, pain, breathing difficulty, etc. This further made my suffering with OCD, anxiety, and depression worse. We were forced to move out of the apartment we lived in because of mold. It made the other problems so much worse, but my father then signed a lease for us and we are now in a better place. Before we had moved, I had been evaluated for MS, and other neuromuscular problems. I am now on much better terms at least with my family and have been able to put some of the things in the past behind me with them, even though there are still problems. My parents have done whatever they can now to help us. Our car is broken down, and we cannot afford to fix it. My husband has been unable to find a regular job in Michigan. He was doing a temp job, but they sent the guys home the other day..and supposedly they might only call him back. This state is so bad, but we are too poor to move. It just seems like even though things get a tiny bit better, we always get hit with more of a mess. I have started trying to see new physicians since we live in another county now and the ones where I lived before were horrible (well not the internist), but the hospital and a family doctor I had seen before hand. I am petrified of doctors now. I threw all my medicine out. After a mention from another lady about electrolyte issues on a different site, and nothing else was being done...I remembered in Colorado on a few different occasions I had been hypokalemic and had low magnesium.
Now I am taking these things like mad, and my serum levels are ok, but I am struggling. My moods seem completely tuned to how dehydrated or deficient I feel as it is accompanied by the weakness, twitching, palpitations, etc. I cannot get a doctor to properly evaluate me for a wasting disorder because I have high bp and the one specialist I saw completely brushed me off and blamed it on sodium intake because I get occasionally terrible salt cravings. My new internist is evaluating me for Cushings, tumors, etc. So, here I am sick and scared. My husband and I are still together and I love him...but we really don't have as much of a relationship as I would like to. We both are stressed and depressed and very fed up with being poor and unable to get ahead. To lose our mobile home in Colorado, not be able to even find work for hubby, not be able to get good medical care, etc...has just been too much...not to mention the back child support that he owes. I have so much on my plate...and maybe I should not be throwing it all out like this. But, for keeping my last thread and shred of sanity here I am. I had missed being part of this site. It always has had a special place in my heart. I can only pray and keep on going as best as I can. If anyone remembers me, let me know. My memory from then is not so good.
Wishing you all a good weekendChelle
poster:WaterSapphire
thread:846586
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080816/msgs/846586.html