Posted by cactus on July 14, 2008, at 13:40:37
As it comes and it goes
waxing and waning
interupting our life force
in silent suffering
we smile and say
"yeah, I'm fine how are you?"
while the blackness inside is churning like glue
fake smiles are easy to cover the turmoil
while our insides are screaming
I'm starting to boil
In the far distance a klaxon is wailing
but no one else hears it's incessant call
the internal alarm has started to ring
it's happening again what should I do
fight or flight comes to mind
should I find a new pill
from the white coated doctors with sugary smiles
who keep pushing pills, coated in lies
should I wait, should I wait
maybe I'm fine
whoops it's too late the precipice has arrived
and into the blackness I dive
I don't want that pill the last one make me sick
it's from the same class so it might do the trick
but the doctors keep pushing these new shiny pills
filled with the promise that it will cure my ills
yet it's forced down my throat
and I must comply
or it's off to the psych ward
and I'd rather die
the ride is now over and as I get off
the dizziness returns as so does the shock
as withdrawal kicks in
but this ride is different
because my harness is off
the ride now shoots off, unrestrained
I can't stand or talk
I'm stuck to my seat because of the shock
the electrical storm in my brain has begun
lightning flashes every 30 seconds, wow it's bright
but I don't hear the thunder
ringing drowns it out
I tapered it right, just like the doc said
this shouldn't be happening I did EVERYTHING right
sometimes it's worse than before it began
so I won't ever be taking that type of med,
ever again
I live with my sister
her compass is broken
will she find north today and head south
who knows?
her poles are mixed up and anything goes
see it's got to the point
were we are both sick, I've been holding the fort
I've been in remission
but if I don't get out now
there'll be another collision
I can't deal with it anymore
when we go down united as one
the mess is horrendous
at the bottom of the cliff
so I must leave her this time around
for self preservation
I can hear the klaxonC
Dx, mixed depressive episodes, GAD, SP and multiple whacky sleeping disorders
Rx 200mg modafinil, 4mg clonazepam daily. Best combo since I started the med go round 16 years ago.
poster:cactus
thread:839681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839681.html