Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2008, at 12:27:32
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by TexasChic on July 12, 2008, at 21:03:10
It also occurs to me, although I admit total ignorance on the topic, that there is a lot of talking going on in your office about what's going on in your office. Perhaps my husband's stance of obliviousness is a wise one to make in action, even if it can't be accomplished in feelings or thoughts. If others in your office are talking about office politics or your boss, maybe the best part of valor would be to feign ignorance and change the topic to last night's tv or some project you're working on? If your coworkers are talking a lot about your boss and other coworkers and various relations between them, I wouldn't count on them not talking about you to, for example, your boss. Not even directly, but just let something slip. Maybe even third hand.
I have discovered even in my small office that coworkers are coworkers, not friends really. They might be friendly coworkers, but it's a different dynamic. It could be painful to look upon them as friends and have them turn out to be just friendly coworkers. Their main purpose in being there is to earn their pay and do their jobs. Friendship is secondary. I wouldn't put too much reliance on friendships forged under those conditions.
I'm not suggesting that you be paranoid. Most people aren't malicious. Most people mean well and try to be helpful and friendly. But it might be a good idea to be wary of interoffice talk.
One thing I do remember about my books on bullies is that bullies thrive in an environment of alliances. So it might be a good idea to steer clear of them as much as possible.
And, like I said, I've never worked in a big office, so I may be totally ignorant of what goes on.
poster:Dinah
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839553.html