Posted by Kath on June 13, 2007, at 15:10:54
In reply to To all......thanks!, posted by Kath on June 12, 2007, at 9:56:07
Once again, I appreciate your replies.
So much widsom - yes - he will do what he will do; I have no control over it, etc. Those things are always true & always good to be reminded of.
The BIG fear of him living on the street might not turn into reality, thank God. Over the past years our home has had a 'revolving door'. He'd live here, not abide by the requirements to continue living here, not do anthing to prepare for NOT living here, have nowhere to go, be OUT, and finally, us (son, hubby & I) negotiating a return - due to whatever circumstance (the only one I can remember is him being in hospital with kidney problems & the doctor sort of begging us to take him back).
At the 12-step meetings they say, 'nothing changes if nothing changes' & I can't go through those same 'dance steps' yet again. Apart from anything else, reasons for him not living here again are:
- he smokes like a chimney & stinks of smoke & it causes health problems in both myself & husband.- he continues to drink & use drugs even while taking anti-psychotic meds due to psychosis most probably CAUSED from drugs.
- don't know if he is right now, but periodically is involved in selling at least weed.
Part of me tends to feel MEAN & a horrible Mom for not rescuing him from living on the street. In a couple or few years hubby & I will be retiring & moving away. We won't be here to rescue him. It's better if he learns to not rely on us now. His worker also said that she didn't see him living with us as an option (that helps me to not feel as awful about it)
I don't know HOW I'd be able to live with it yet again, but thankfully, a friend who I didn't think of has 'surfaced'. He's living with my son & his roommate so he's also looking for a place for the end of June. He has 2 jobs & is planning to go to school in the Fall, so he's more stable than either of the others. This friend mentioned getting a place with the other roommate. He didn't mention my son though, so I wondered about that. When I asked my son about it, he said that his roommate knows that he wants to live with them also. The good thing is that my son wants to!! I was wondering if he was seeing living on the streets as a way of having more money for 'recreation'!! Happily it seems that's not the case.
I now have to just relax & silence my worry of "oh jeez, maybe they don't want my son to live with them" - which was the worry that my mind very unkindly generated!!I went today to a counsellor provided by my husband's work Employee Assistance Plan & she's GREAT. I'd been to her before.
I want you all to know I am feeling SO much better. Not all panicky like I was.
Big sigh of relief.
hugs to ALL of you, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:762350
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070523/msgs/762951.html