Posted by Kath on February 13, 2007, at 20:52:49
In reply to Today was freaking HORRID at work, posted by rjlockhart on February 13, 2007, at 20:05:06
Hi Matt,
Please take a deep breath. (((((((you))))))
Guess what. People at work (probably at most people's workplaces) fool around & joke around. The person was probably just joking around about the $200 & $20. FORGET about that whole thing. They probably just assumed that you were going along with the joke, agreeing to pay.
Even if you WERE serious, I'd suggest that if it comes up again in any way in conversation or if someone else refers to it, just TOTALLY act as if it was all a big joke.
The other thing is this.....sounds like you were really open about wanting to be this person's friend. Sounds like you're a very open person sometimes & a lot of people aren't open like that. I think a lot of people can get uncomfortable when other people get 'real' & open about their feelings. I think that's why that person started fooling around about the money. I have found that before I will be really open with my emotions like that, I want to make sure that it's emotionally safe for me to be that open. It sounds like you were really sincere & maybe they weren't comfortable being open with feelings so they fooled around (even if they sounded serious).
I don't know how old you are. I'm almost 60!! It seems to me that you're probably one heck of a lot younger than that, and often with young people (having observed my 22 yr-old son & his friends for the last several years) they fool around & joke around like anything. You can get away with a lot by joking around.
You know - it's really hard for a lot of us to feel like we 'fit in'. It really is. I used to be very shy. A part of me still is, deep inside, but I remember when I was in my late teens & early 20's. My best friend was SO self-confident & outgoing. I felt so shy & inferior. It was sort of agonizing. So without even planning to I sort of made a decision....actually it was more like I just started ACTING AS IF I was self-confident & as if I just took it for granted that I fitted in. I did a lot of deep breaths (not obvious ones) and I tried to feel comfortable NOT feeling as if I HAD to say something. Before that, when I was with others I felt like I HAD to say something - preferrably something cool.
Matt - do you think you can relax a bit about having the people you work with be your friends? Do you have any other activities you do? Or is there any other stuff you're involved in?
Please keep posting about how you're feeling Matt. It sounds like your work environment is very stressful in its own way. I admire you for having a job & going to work. I hope you give yourself credit for doing that!
I'm here to listen.
Hugs, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:732545
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070209/msgs/732562.html