Posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 9:15:20
In reply to Re: I'm really upset » Racer, posted by Deneb on November 29, 2006, at 1:32:43
> I just don't learn. I post threats impulsively. They never lead to any good.
You do learn. You haven't done that for some time. You did something this time that you regret, right? Everyone does that from time to time.
Ask me sometime about my resolve not to gossip with one family member about another. :(
And yes, as a general rule, threats rarely lead to where one wishes them to lead. But it probably isn't useful to beat yourself up over it. It's probably more useful to just remember the pragmatics. Maybe write it down somewhere visible from your computer. Something like "When I get upset it seems like saying certain things are a good way to get support and hugs, but it hasn't worked that way for me. It seems to work much better when I (ask for a hug) (say that I'm upset or angry) (whatever has worked for you)." Or at least that's what you've told me your thinking is. If I got it wrong, I apologize.
Everyone tries to get the things they want and need from others. It's just a matter of pragmatism to try to do it effectively.
poster:Dinah
thread:706946
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061123/msgs/708554.html