Posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:05:28
To those reading, a good friend of mine is now trying to get involved in Mormonism (not the same friend I mentioned a month or so again). Don't get me wrong, Mormons are some of the nicest people I've ever met. I've read about it extensively and the religion itself concerns me.
She doesn't know it, but I love her, and I don't want what happened to me (see my first post on babble about it on 5/18/06, on the Psychology board) to happen to her.
My whole body is shaking right now, I'm so scared for her. I'm not scared of dying tonight, thankfully, which is my usual fear.
I'm simply scared for another human being whom I love. I don't want her to feel the pain I did.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so nice and loving, maybe life is easier for mean people.
Even when I read some of posts on this board, I become attached to some of you because I don't want you to go through the things we seem to go through. I think about many of you, and everyone in general sometimes when I'm doing well, hoping that you could feel the relief I am feeling for that moment. And on the flip side, when I'm down, I read the board and I feel like I'm sort of "on your team," like I'm one of you, because I certainly am 100%.
How do I convince my friend to slow down with this?
How do I save my friend from what I went through?
She says to believe by "faith," not logic. How am I supposed to refute a intellectually self-defeating argument?
Ok, I even forgot what I was originally going to ask in this post, I just needed to vent. I'm so nervous and freaking out right now. Luckily I'm not fearful of dying, that's an intense fear no one should have to go through.
I'm just scared for someone I love. Someone I'm in love with.
It's like I'm somehow purposely being targeted and punished, taking someone I love.....and you know.
I don't mean to offend anyone. But I need to vent. I wrote this an "unoffending" as I could out of respect for Bob's rules. I have love and respect for people of all faiths, it's the belief itself that worries me. Because I know, I've lived it and unless you have too, don't tell me I'm wrong. My intense fears and obsessions during the height of my incidents have intellectually taken me to places most haven't and given my previously unimaginable perspectives, so don't tell me I "don't get it." I was very lucky to be given the ability (I call it "mental software") to see things in so many perspectives and so thoroughly, I'm very thankful for that, but it has also haunted me for a long time because I'm immune to many of the mental shields our brains create to keep us mentally stable.
One of my heros, Thomas Paine (18th century writer who is probably single handedly responsible for the United States existing today) once said...
"The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion."
That's the only "religious philosophy" that's ever made sense to me.
But I still feel like a train wreck. But outside of this incident (that actually happened just today), I've been doing good. So. I'm done rambling now, thanks for listening if you stayed this far. Even if I don't say it, I appreciate it so much.
poster:Michael83
thread:702445
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/702445.html