Posted by ClearSkies on October 25, 2006, at 18:41:05
So I am at my pdoc appointment and I say,
yes I still can't sleep, and
yes, I can't remember the last time I went to the bathroom,and my pdoc talks about working with my t on not getting so upset by not being able to sleep, and hands me a much-photocopied page about avoiding caffeine (check), not doing all my worrying while lying in bed (snort), practicing regular exercise (check), blah blah blah blah. She increased the Lamictal and had me change my Cymbalta dosage to the morning instead of the night. Sent me on my merry way, and...
3 minutes later in my car, I'm shaking with frustration and crying that my major complaints are now due to the medications I'm taking for my depression and anxiety. I'm royally most NOT amused at the cavalier attitude that my doctor is passing off on me, that my petty whinings about sleeping when the rest of my time zone is sleeping and being as regular as my cat is, according to her litter tray anyways, she sits there (the pdoc not the cat) looking smugly at me. OK, so the cat does the same thing.
I want to throw all my meds out the window. Just chuck 'em. Make a confetti of tablets and capsules broken open. I went to a store after this crying in the car thing and the nice woman behind the counter said, oh do you have allergies? Your eyes are watering and your nose is red. Sure, I agreed, it's allergies all right. Then I finished up quickly in the store and ran back to the car for another weep-a-thon.
What's weird is that this feels like a transitory freak out... that I will wake up (hah!! at what time ladies and gentlemen?) a few days from now and wonder what all the fuss was about. Like I can see the dust storm coming, I'm in the middle of it now, and I know it will rattle off again.
Argh. I want a bath. I want someone to make this all better. I don't want to keep taking pills every day and then pills to counteract the pills. Metamucil and lavender eye masks and sleep-producing meditative cd's and no caffeine in my coffee - what's the use of that?? - and just being so annoyed and frustrated.
End of rant. Thank you.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:697718
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/697718.html