Posted by Racer on October 7, 2006, at 18:47:58
In reply to Re: Oprah show on Suicide *trigger* » Racer, posted by Deneb on October 7, 2006, at 13:06:30
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> I don't think we should dismiss the threats of those looking for attention, no matter how many times they threaten.
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> Deneb*
>I never said we should, Deneb. What I was saying is that reality might make a difference for those looking for attention, but probably wouldn't for those serious about dying.
My view of suicide threats from those looking for attention is that the best response helps them see that they're not serious about dying -- and that there are other ways to seek attention. If someone has gotten to the point of threatening suicide in order to get attention, I gotta think that there's been a major breakdown along the way -- that person should have gotten that attention long before things reached this stage.
I hate it when I hear people talk about "attention seeking" as though it's pathological. It's not. There's nothing wrong with wanting attention from others, it's natural, it's normal -- and it's something which I think should be validated. That doesn't mean that someone can have my undivided attention for long periods just for asking, mind you. It does mean, though, that if someone needs my attention and is respectful of my needs in return, I do my best to satisfy that need. I'm even getting better about limit setting in that regard.
Generally speaking, though, I will let someone know that seeking my attention by threatening suicide won't work nearly as well as asking more directly. If you call me threatening suicide, I'm much more likely to recommend the emergency psych service than I am to offer any satisfactory attention myself. If you call me saying you're lonely, though, or that you just need to talk -- then, if I am up to it, if I have time at that moment, I will talk to you. Or, if I can't at that moment give you the time you need, I will at least try to arrange to make time for you soon.
Can you understand the difference? Is that more clear to you now?
poster:Racer
thread:692317
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/692812.html