Posted by 10derHeart on September 22, 2006, at 13:16:23
In reply to Who R All You People?, posted by corafree on September 22, 2006, at 12:08:42
I can understnd how frustrating that is at times, that sense of people disappearing, or even reading a post and wondering, 'is that so-and-so, sounds a little like her/him, but I can't be sure...' - especially when you don't read/post every day. Sometimes I forget for those of us who are 'addicts' and on here all the time, too much, numerous times a day.....it's different and that doesn't happen much. Thanks for reminding me to consider other realities besides my own.
I do know how you feel, but maybe it'll help to remember it surely isn't personal. Yeah, I do think it's about trust, but not of you - corafree, or me 10der, or anyone alone or a group of Babblers, but more of IRL issues. It's about comfort and safety IRL - some posters have real worries over being traced through the archives by a posting name. Also, I recall some posters feeling better about new names with new, personal meaning for them at different points in their lives, but not always wishing to explain that to us all.
I can see how you - and others - might feel that a person 'should' tell you, but I'm not sure that's quite so cut and dried. We'd like it? We wish? We'd feel less uncertain? Our curiosity would be satisfied? Yep. But maybe not that they "should." And I guess, no matter how each of us may feel, Dr. Bob has decided that no, posters don't have to tell on the boards who they used to be. The FAQ say you need to post to Admin that you used to post as someone else, and that's all.
Here comes the reminder (gentle is my intention) even though your feelings may be stirred up my this issue, be careful not to characterize posters who change their names as anything - I won't repeat the word you used - as that may lead them to feel put down. I see you (if I may be so bold) as a friendly, sincere, caring poster here, cf. I'm sure you didn't mean to stumble over the edge of civility there.....
Could it be true of your experience to say, "I feel surprised, uncomfortable, and/or disconcerted when posters change names without telling me," - or something like that? (your words would be ever so much better than my clumsy attempts...)
We're usually good to go when we focus on describing *our* own feelings arising out of others' behaviors :-)
poster:10derHeart
thread:688168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060922/msgs/688175.html