Posted by Kath on August 12, 2006, at 20:31:17
In reply to Dark humor...Aw c'mon, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
ROTFLOL
or as I think it's Wildcard would say: SNORT
Oh My God. I love laffing out loud so thanks for those!!!!!!!
HAW HAW Kath
PS - I copied them & am sending them in email to friends.
> You know you love it.
>
> On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
> Here lies
> Ezekial Aikle
> Age 102
> The Good
> Die Young.
>
> In a London cemetery
> Here lies Ann Mann,
> Who lived an old maid
> But died an old Mann.
> Dec. 8, 1767
>
> In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery
> The children of Israel wanted bread
> And the Lord sent them manna,
> Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
> And the Devil sent him Anna.
>
> In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
> Here lies
> Johnny Yeast
> Pardon me
> For not rising.
>
> Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
> Here lies the body
> of Jonathan Blake
> Stepped on the gas
> Instead of the brake.
>
> In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
> Here lays Butch,
> We planted him raw.
> He was quick on the trigger,
> But slow on the draw.
>
> A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery
> Sacred to the memory of
> my husband John Barnes
> who died January 3, 1803
> His comely young widow, aged 23, has
> many qualifications of a good wife, and
> yearns to be comforted.
>
> A lawyer's epitaph in England
> Sir John Strange
> Here lies an honest lawyer,
> And that is Strange.
>
> Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
> I was somebody.
> Who, is no business
> Of yours.
>
> Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the
> cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
> Tombstone, Arizona
> Here lies Lester Moore
> Four slugs from a .44
> No Les No More.
>
> In a Georgia cemetery
> "I told you I was sick!"
>
> John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery
> Reader if cash thou art
> In want of any
> Dig 4 feet deep
> And thou wilt find a Penny.
>
> On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia
> She always said her feet were killing her
> but nobody believed her.
>
> In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
> On the 22nd of June
> Jonathan Fiddle -
> Went out of tune.
>
> Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
> Here lies the body of our Anna
> Done to death by a banana
> It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
> But the skin of the thing that made her go.
>
> Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
> Gone away
> Owin' more
> Than he could pay.
>
> Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood
> In Memory of Beza Wood
> Departed this life
> Nov. 2, 1837
> Aged 45 yrs.
>
> Here lies one Wood
> Enclosed in wood
> One Wood
> Within another.
> The outer wood
> Is very good:
> We cannot praise
> The other.
>
> On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
> Under the sod and under the trees
> Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
> He is not here, there's only the pod:
> Pease shelled out and went to God.
>
> I love the next one...
>
> The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
> Who was fatally burned
> March 21, 1870
> by the explosion of a lamp
> filled with "R.E. Danforth's
> Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
>
> Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
> Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
> the car was on the way down. It was.
>
> In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
> Here lies an Atheist
> All dressed up
> And no place to go.
>
> Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
> Office upstairs
>
> In Newbury, England [1742]
> Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies,
> Nobody laughs and nobody cries;
> Where his soul's gone, or how it fares,
> Nobody knows, and nobody cares.
>
> In a Leeds graveyard [1861]
> Here lies my wife,
> Here lies she;
> Hallelujah!
> Hallelujee!
>
> John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife
> Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
> Now she's at rest, and so am I.
>
> The Tired Woman's Epitaph
> Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
> She lived ina house where help was not hired.
> Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
> Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
> But everything there is exact to my wishes;
> For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
> Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
> I'm going to do nothing for evere and ever.
>
> To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
> Born 15 September 1822
> Accidentally shot
> 4th April 1844As a mark of affection
> from his brother
>
> Hillaire Belloc (1870-1953)
> Here richly, with ridiculous display,
> The Politician's corpse was laid away.
> While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged,
> I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.
>
> On an inkeeper 1875
> Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion,
> Doth lie the landlord of the Lion;
> His son keeps on the business still,
> Resigned unto the heavenly will.
>
> In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
> Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
> Born a virgin, died a harlot.
> For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
> A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
>
poster:Kath
thread:673347
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060806/msgs/675919.html