Posted by corafree on July 28, 2006, at 1:48:33
In reply to Re: Butt, I'm Really Freakin' Out! :(, posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2006, at 21:49:14
Tks Deneb, and Phillipa, "I can't believe Fentanyl didn't work either?! I went in there w/ a horrible migraine and it was every bit as bad, or worse, after the Fentanyl and Versed!" He definitely didn't give me 'enough'!
My daughter wants to file a complaint against the colo-rectal for putting me through so much pain today. She was so upset. She has two little girls, and teaches school, so is very busy. I can't expect her 'to go to bat' for me.
I gotta' tell ya' ... feels like I'm dam*ed if I do and da*ned if I don't.
I can find a way to stay on a narcotic and be free to live w/o pain, but will continue to suffer w/ bowel problems, ... or I can choose to be bedridden w/ pain and probably have less to very little bowel problems.
I called a crisis line when I got home that is called Nurseline (psychiatric), and asked for a nurse experienced in both mental/physical. She promised to call me back after I took a short nap, but didn't.
Seems every time I turn around, I get kicked in the *ss again.
The times I've been inpatient mental health, there was only once that there was any focus on the 'medical side of my health'.
This place had a campus w/ five bldgs/units,.. CARE (a place for people w/o good insurance to be fed, counseled, rest, and recup), teen mental health, adult mental health, detox (Here physical pain mngt was addressed and medical meds could be ordered by on site docs and prescribed.), and an alcohol/drug 15day to 30day program.
Before my father passed away, I wanted to make him proud of me, and 'wormed my way in here' to try and d.c. all meds.
I had begun in detox and requested to go to the 'AA/NA program' as I thought maybe that would help me learn to live with pain. While in this unit I had 'so much pain' I was sometimes unable to sit through an hour long group. I tried so hard, but in the end, even my P there said, "You'll have to be on a narcotic and if you take it as prescribed, you are not in need of NA, or if you want to attend NA meetings, taking your medication as prescribed does not mean you're not clean."
Chronic physical pain is so depressing, and 'I think' when it manifests as a migraine or a cluster headache, it's the worst. I feel if it were lower back pain, it wouldn't be such a bother to 'my thoughts', 'my ability to see and hear', and 'my ability to think clearly'. I dunno'.
There are only a handful of treatment centers in US that focus on both mental illness and chronic pain. They are for the well-insured or wealthy.
Two years ago I was 'not a surgical candidate'.
What I need is a doctor that really cares about pain management. They're next to impossible to find. I've gone through about five in the last five years, that keep sending me back to my PCP to dispense narcotics, which PCPs don't like of course!
I'll try to go to the meetings of the ACPA (American Chronic Pain Association) here and meet people who I'm hoping can point me in a helpful direction. If I can even do that, I'll be doing about as much as I feel capable of right now.
love, cf
poster:corafree
thread:670254
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060721/msgs/671334.html