Posted by llrrrpp on July 5, 2006, at 6:14:43
In reply to Re: I don't like seeing a T, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 0:48:12
> To be completely honest, I don't really like psychotherapy. I don't like talking about things and trying to figure them out. I'm not very good at figuring out stuff like that.
Would you like to get better at figuring this stuff out?
> A lot of the time when my pdoc asks me a question I just come up with what I think is a reasonable answer because I really don't know the answer. I just pretend to know. I repeat things that you guys have said to me. I don't come up with them myself. Maybe I don't have any insight, I dunno.
It's okay to say "I don't know". That was what I said to about 60% of the questions T asked me. Then he might offer suggestions- are you feeling this? "no, actually more like this..." and then we can figure out why I don't know why I'm feeling.
> I feel like therapy is a waste of time. I'm not much of a talking person. I would much rather have very specific goals, and work towards them. Goals like,
> Say "Hi" to one person on ___ day.
> Call one friend on ___ day at ___ time.
> Go to bed at X time.
>
> I don't think talking about feelings, relationships and childhood will do anything for me. I also don't particularly like talking about myself. It makes very anxious, it brings out my social anxiety. I do not feel like seeing someone every week and being anxious.I get really anxious before I see T. It's like going to the dentist. It's also good practice though. Every week I get myself all worked up, freaked out, and yet somehow I emerge unscathed and often stronger. Yeah. it's unpleasant. No pain no gain. Sometimes there are funny moments though, and I like getting advice. I like figuring out that the stuff that happens to me is sometimes under my control (when I felt powerless) or completely out of my grasp (when I was trying to force things to happen a certain way). Sometimes I sit and listen, because I'm not talking. Sometimes I'm mumbling and incoherent. It's really scary to sit near a stranger and confess to having disturbing thoughts, and disturbing behavior. What you must realize though, is that many people have similar thoughts. One of the best ways of getting them out of your head (where they tend to breed!) is to just work up the courage to SAY it. You already have the courage to write about it. The next step is to say it. Your friends and family might not understand. But your T will not judge you and think that you are a bad person. Your T will respect you and will be encouraged that you are willing to share.
Thanks for posting this, Deneb. It really goes a long way towards understanding how you feel about treatment. And it helps me understand what the barriers are towards you getting the best treatment towards improving your quality of life.
your friend,
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:664027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060628/msgs/664134.html