Posted by llrrrpp on June 4, 2006, at 12:21:31
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. (Trigger?) » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on June 4, 2006, at 11:43:01
Hi Corafree,
Your situation sounds so difficult right now, but even through all the hardship and pain you expressed, I read some things that might give you hope.You love your children, even though they are flawed, and they may have poor judgment, and even though they may do things that are inconsiderate and even hurtful. You love them, so your ex was *not* successful in destroying your heart. Your heart is strong enough to LOVE and to love powerfully. Use that love to make you stronger.
You live in a place where you're not feeling like you're not at home. But, you are FREE. you may not feel free, because he's close to you, but think about how FREE you are corafree-- You are divorced. You are free to have your own romantic relationships (which your ex finds threatening, as such abusers will). You are free to go to the store, to go about your business, to talk to your therapist about anything and everything. You're FREE to feel the hurt and the pain that this man has done to you. You don't have to hide it from the world (from your children, from yourself) any longer, pretend like all is well. Maybe that's why you're feeling so much discomfort? Because you've never allowed yourself the freedom to feel the hurt before?
With Freedom comes responsibility, and your main responsibility is to yourself. Keep corafree safe. Don't hurt corafree. Your children are old enough to make their own mistakes, and they will make them, regardless of your interventions. So, be responsible for your own heart, and your own body. See a therapist, figure out if there is a medicine that might help turn down the volume on some of these overwhelming feelings you're experiencing.
I hope you find some peace today,
yours,
-llrrrpp
poster:llrrrpp
thread:652611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060604/msgs/652757.html