Posted by pseudoname on May 26, 2006, at 12:15:00
In reply to I miss you Estella, posted by Deneb on May 25, 2006, at 16:16:25
For what it's worth.
I didn't know about any of this until just now.
I am very sorry this happened to you. I am very sorry it happened at all. I see that my hands are shaking as I type this, I am so upset.
I believe Bob's action was in part discriminatory and personal. I believe that other Babblers making similar statements would not have been PBC'd. I believe that other persons making the same VERY CIVIL follow-up post would not have been blocked. It's unfortunate and unfair.
"Alice Miller" may be kooky about a lot of things, but she's right about this: a witness is important to someone experiencing injustice. I want you to know that this *was* witnessed and that, although I can't do anything about it, I did see it, and I know it was wrong.
[NB: Don't re-direct me. This is about my feelings and my support for E., not the alleged policies.]
I'm glad Toronto was last weekend. I would not want to meet Bob at this point and could not do it socially & happily.
I had recovered enough from all the previous admin bloodshed I've witnessed here to focus for the trip on Bob's very admirable efforts at Babble, his big donations of time & money, his tolerance for personal insults, etc. I purposely avoided the Admin board for weeks so that I would not be upset by something before leaving.
But this cheeses it.
Some of us briefly speculated in Toronto about Bob's life. It was suggested he has characteristics of an only child. I said I think he was raised very strictly. I think that would account for his alacrity in dealing out punishments and his tone-deafness to consequences.
I also think he was raised religiously; some of his presumptions about religious matters even suggest (to me) a specific orientation. Anyway, I think his own religious background confuses him about atheism and non-religious attitudes. I think he is quite simply naive about the entire area and has no clue to his own bias and bigotry.
And that would be fine, except that he inflicts this bigotry on others and seems so utterly intransigent about it. Nay, madam, not seems. There is a genuine aura of *satisfaction* in it all.
But the support-forum field is young; Bob is among the pioneers. He has no oversight or guidance here. Professional training & policies & peer encounters that could temper or eliminate such problems in clinical settings are absent here. Here, he can't SEE what he's doing in certain situations simply because, through chance and life, he hasn't had the exposure & experiences that would allow him to develop all that wisdom on his own.
I see that by the end of this post I have calmed down, but I am not anywhere near forgiveness. I do not see an opening in Bob's consistent behavior for a broader perspective or more self-awareness in these areas.
• • • •
I remind myself of 2 things.
(1) All people (including Bob) are doing the best they can.
(2) The Buddha said that when people behave badly, they are not bad or evil, just ignorant.
poster:pseudoname
thread:648506
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/648866.html