Posted by pseudoname on May 25, 2006, at 15:29:02
In reply to Re: My first personal post » pseudoname, posted by AuntieMel on May 25, 2006, at 14:41:33
> Can you put a finger on what else is going on at the time he does it?
That's the thing: there's no predicting. My brother-in-law (“BiL”) has chronic intestinal problems, which can flare up & seem to affect his mood a LOT. But he verbally smacks & bullies me even when he's clearly in good spirits.
He seems to need to be the smartest person in the room, which is fine by me. He *is* smarter than I am. But BiL ANGRILY attacks me, for example, for my supposedly improper use of words (like “moot” and “virus”). Even if he's right, why be hostile?
> I'm thinking that this might be a defense mechanism.
He's definitely got a lot going on. He is EXTREMELY defensive. I've never seen him apologize to anyone, for example, not even in everyday logistical courtesy. Some of his speech seems like impulsive explosions he can't control; but he controls it fine when he's around people he'd be afraid to bully. He's gotten better in some ways in the last 8 years.
> Or he could just be a jerk.
My old therapist said that both BiL and my sister are thought-less, as in without thoughts. And I can't post what else he called BiL. But he only had my side of the story.
Anyway, I won't risk doing anything that could risk causing a rift between me and either my sister or their kid, both of whom are important to me.
poster:pseudoname
thread:648029
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/648478.html